and work obligations, and get on with his new life.
* * *
V ERONICA Â COULDN â T Â FEEL Â her own hands and she couldnât quite hear what she was saying. It wasnât the martini affecting her, unfortunately; it was pure, unadulterated terror.
Despite the numbness, her hands were still holding the letters sheâd chosen to read, and the crowd was still clapping and smiling. She couldnât remember much of the past forty-five minutes, but maybe it was going fine. She might even be doing a good job, but she had a feeling the crowd approval had more to do with the alcohol. Not that she minded.
âAnd now, our sixth and final Dear Veronica letter,â she said into the microphone, lowering her voice a little to bring down the noise level in the bar. It worked. The roar subsided.
She drank the last of her now-warm cosmo and took a deep breath. ââDear Veronica, I feel like Iâm a pretty good catch. Iâm young, relatively pretty, educated and fun loving. Men ask me out. I wouldnât say I have any problem getting a date, and my standards are reasonably high. I expect a potential mate to be employed and funny and hot as hellâââ
âThatâs you, Steve!â someone yelled out, causing howls to erupt.
Veronica smiled and pointed in the direction of the noise. âFind me later, Steve.â She waited for the laughter to quiet, then continued. ââSo why do I always end up being the booty call? Why am I never the girlfriend? It makes me feel like Iâm not good enough. Donât get me wrongâI love sex, but Iâd like more than that, and the last three guys Iâve dated have all ended up being casual.â Itâs signed That Girl.â
Veronica looked out over crowd. âNow...this letter might mean something to a lot of you.â
There were moans of agreement.
âLet me start with this. Thereâs nothing wrong with a booty call.â Veronica laughed at the ruckus that caused, then shook her head and moved on. âSex is fun. Sex is good. Booty-call your way through life if that makes you happy. But apparently, itâs not making you happy, That Girl, so you need to figure out why youâre willingly participating in this unfulfilling little dance.
âI notice that you referred to yourself as ârelatively prettyâ and then referred to your dates as âhot as hell,â which makes me think you could be flattered by their attention. Letâs be really honest hereâthere is nothing flattering about someone wanting to bone you.â
She paused to let the crowd react, and a server sneaked over to hand her another martini. âOh, thank you!â Veronica whispered, surprised and relieved. Her mouth was drying out and her hands were sweating. She gratefully took a gulp, then turned back to the audience. âI hear some disagreement, but let me be clear. There are men out there who will put their penises in a tree. There are men out there who will put their penises in sheep. You do not need to feel flattered that a man wants to put his penis inside you.
âAnd as for women...think of all the slimeballs out there you see taking women home every single night. Those women are happy to sleep with a slimeball, so, men, donât be honored that theyâll sleep with you, too. Sex is not flattery! Itâs one of our basic animal needs and people will do a lot of nasty shit to get it.â
âSheâs talking about you again, Steve!â a man shouted.
âOkay, Steve,â Veronica said, âdonât find me later.â She winked in his direction. âBut for this letter writer... You describe yourself as âfun lovingâ and Iâm afraid proving that youâre down for casual sex is part of proving just how fun you are.â She paused to let that sink in and registered a couple of women who looked as if theyâd just heard the truth.
âIf