Didn't want to get involved with him anyway. With anyone. She wasn't ready.
But remembering the feeling of his lips on hers, his hand on her skin, her breast…a shudder ran along her spine. Her body had certainly been ready. She'd drenched her panties, she noticed, as she undressed for bed.
Well, no big deal. They would see each other on holidays, maybe birthdays, if Amanda insisted. Chris planned to stay in Maplewood and Robert's house was an hour away. Not really that far, but far enough she could make excuses not to visit on a regular basis. She'd join a softball team, or a bowling league, something to keep her busy and keep her mom off her back. Give her a ready-made excuse not to come over.
Damn him! All those feelings she'd been pushing down, all that sensual longing, the memory of how good it felt to connect with another human being both physically and emotionally…
Hobbling to the bathroom, she dug out the bottle of pain pills. The other half should be enough to knock her into la-la land, and make her forget those few moments of bliss.
****
"Order whatever you'd like, dear," Amanda said, lifting her china coffee cup and sipping gracefully.
"I plan on it," Chris shot back, rattling the parchment paper breakfast menu. She hated that tone her mother got when she said those words. The message was clearly, "Don't you think you should get the low-calorie selection?"
They sat in the Lilac room again. Just the two of them. Robert must really have a butt-load of money to buy these amenities. A note on Regency letterhead, slipped under her door, informed her they would be dining at eight o'clock sharp. La-dee-da. Sorely tempted to skip the meal, her growling stomach suggested otherwise and Chris dressed, combed her hair, and showed up on time. Which Robert and his clan couldn't seem to do.
"Where are the others?"
"They're eating elsewhere. I thought it would be nice if we had a chat, just you and me."
"Mom, I see you every day. We've been chatting for what, a year since I moved in with you?"
"Two years. You've been living with me for two years and three months."
That long?
"Which is what I want to discuss. You know I'm selling the house and you said you don't want to come live with me at Robert's place."
"That is correct." Chris poured herself a cup of coffee from the carafe on the table.
"And where do you plan to live?"
"With some friends. An apartment. I don't know. I've got a few ideas."
"You don't make that much money working as a mechanic."
"I make enough. I'll get by."
"Honey." Amanda put her hand on top of Chris's. Like a touch of sunshine. Her mother always had such warm hands.
Chris fought back the surprising sting of tears.
"It's time to move on with your life. I know Jason upset you terribly, but you have to get past that and make plans for the future. You can resume your classes, get your computer science degree, like you always wanted."
"I will. Soon. I'm just not ready yet. My job keeps me too busy anyway."
Liar. She had plenty of free time. If she wasn't playing football, she was watching movies and playing online games. Anything to fill that aching void.
"I worry about you, Christina. Please, come and live with us. Then, you won't have to work for a while and can concentrate on school."
"I'll think about it." Chris slid her hand away from the comfort of her mother's and picked up the menu again. "What are you going to have?"
The truth was, Chris thought later as she wiggled into her swimsuit, ever since Jason, her confidence had hit rock bottom. If she didn't know her own husband was gay, how stupid was she? She could figure out moods and feelings for everyone else, but not the guy she'd lived with for three years. Coming home early one day, finding him in their bed with another man, had been like getting smacked in the head with a baseball bat.
Jason had apologized up one end and down the other. He wasn't sure what he wanted, he said. When they'd married, he loved her,