Switcheroo Read Online Free Page A

her or what, but she
hasn’t really been the same since she married him.  I went to high school at
West with her, you know. We had a lot of fun.  Now look at us,” she shrugged.
True, Kim was sad, slouching and pregnant; not to mention sporting an
eye-patch.  I peeked at Tammy as she nervously smoked a cigarette at the bar,
noting that make up hid dark circles under her eyes.
    Kim stopped talking to see if I
was going to comment.  Really, I was even more interested now.  Generally the
more needy and nutty a woman is, the more I’m attracted to her. I have two
divorces to prove it.
    Kim looked up at me while she
sipped her third virgin daiquiri.  I continued my brilliant line of
questioning.
    “Does she have any kids?” I hoped
not.
    “Yeah, she has a little two year
old girl. Stays with Tammy’s Grandma while Tammy works.  Hey! You’re not
thinking of trying anything on Tammy? She has enough trouble with out some
wanna-be cop trying to put moves on her right now.”
    She was good at this complaining/
lecturing thing. That cop comment was hurtful, though. Now I know why Georgie
ran off.
    I pretended to be insulted by her
accusation, although she was right.
    “Nothing further from my mind,” I
said, straightening my tie in an indignant Rodney Dangerfield fashion. “I was
just curious.”
    “What time does she get off work?”
I started again.
    “Come on! Her husband was just
killed.”
    She still doubted my motives.
    “I just want to talk to her about
her case, that’s it. A free consultation.”
    I sounded like the ambulance
chasing attorney in my office building, but this would be an improvement over
her current impression: Dirty Dog.
    “She gets off at eleven, but no
funny stuff,” She smoothed over now. “I’m waiting to take her home, she can’t
drive her truck, you know. She has it hidden.”
    I glanced at my watch it was ten
thirty-five. I’d wait for Tammy to finish, see if I could have a minute with
her. A quiet moment passed between Kim and I, but not too awkward. Billy Joe
began to murder Clapton’s ‘You Look Wonderful Tonight’. Couples sweated and
swayed against each other under a cheap mirror ball that was way too small for
the huge room.
    “Hey Kim, how about a slow dance?
We’ll cause a terrific scandal.” I held out my hand.
    “OK,” she said, sliding out of her
bar stool. “But I don’t think anyone will notice. You pretty much have to kill
somebody or at least scratch somebody’s pickup to cause a scandal here.”
    She followed me to the dance
floor, leaning back slightly. I was thinking that maybe some of these killings
were caused by the wrong scratch being put on the wrong truck owned by the
wrong Neanderthal.
     

 
     
    Chapter
4
     
     
    Kim and I were doing our best to
dance around her belly. If I turned her away from me a little and she looked
over her shoulder with her good eye, she didn’t look pregnant or disfigured.
    Right then, Tammy McHenry came by,
carrying her tattered corkboard serving platter. She said hi to her dancing,
gestating friend. Kim introduced me as her private investigator, yelling over
the music that I was going to hammer Georgie for back child support. Tammy gave
me a quick look with eyes that had a child-like sparkle, but an underlying
sadness like she had just found out there was no Santa.  She was very fit and
pretty, a little vacant though, her thoughts elsewhere. I shook her thin white
hand and then she was off with her tray to kill more redneck brain cells, and
there were not many left.
    “Nice looking lady,” I remarked;
more to myself.
    “What am I, chicken shit?” Kim
snapped.
    Damn, one dance and she was
already digging her claws in.  I did not envy Georgie if I ever found him for
her. Kim was losing steam after dancing with her pregnant self. The extra
weight pulled her small body forward into a slouch.
    “Shut up and dance,” I said with
mock anger.  I dipped her and she squealed little. I almost squealed too,