resist the chocolate in the middle of a Minstrel.’
Come on sweet-talking guy. Look at me properly. Then rewind. Do us both a favour. Especially me. Make the world go back to normal. Coz this ain’t right.
That’s what the Get-a-grip, Clod! voice of reason inside my brain kept insisting. Even when this utter hottie cupped his hand round my elbow and steered me out of the queue we were holding up to continue our conversation. Even when he introduced himself.
‘I’m Stefan.’
That was when we shook hands. And he took my right paw in both of his. Clasped it tight even though it was clammy with sweat and a bit sticky from the chocolate Brazils. But he didn’t let go. Squeezed.
‘And you are?’
‘Claudia,’ I told him. ‘But I’m called Clod. Y’know, Clod by name, Clod by na-’
‘Claudia. Like Schiffer. Supermodel,’ Stefan interrupted me by leaning forward and kissing the salty base of my palm.
(Note to self: Finally. 17¾ years old. First kiss. And about time too.) His lips barely made contact with my skin, but Stefan had damaged me for life. My poor heart felt like it wanted to gallop free of my ribcage. I couldn’t regulate my breathing. My kneecaps were visibly vibrating through my trousers and all the blood in my upper body seemed to be relocating to my groin. That’s why I didn’t hear a word that I nodded and smiled at in the – well, it could have been twenty seconds or twenty years Stefan chatted to me following his killer kiss before I was aware of hearing normally. In fact I didn’t even think I was hearingnormally yet. This
donk, donk, donk
bass-line seemed to be throbbing in the space between us
donk donk donk
Thinking that my body was undergoing some kind of cardiac trauma due to the shock of being kissed by a male who wasn’t a blood relative, I shook my head to make the throb go away. But it only happened again. Louder:
donk donk donk
Louder still when Stefan pulled a mobile from the inside pocket of his jacket. Cut the call just as I was able to Name That Ringtone: Another One Bites The Dust . A classic blast of bass and Freddy gristle.
‘Haven’t I spied you working in the optician’s?’ Stefan gave me his bling smile as he slipped the phone back in his pocket without – I noticed – bothering to check the caller.
‘Me? You’ve seen me ?’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. A guy like you? I was ready to add but Stefan was talking over me.
‘What the hell happened there today?’ he asked,joining the sweet queue again. ‘I heard a woman saying someone died. Did you see it?’
5
clod’s first date
We shared the packet of Minstrels outside the news-agent’s. Not exactly 50-50, if I’m being honest. I always eat two at once, gannet that I am. But I don’t think Stefan noticed.
Nah. He seemed obsessed by the fact that I’d been all alone-o inside Quinn’s when the hammer drama kicked off. But not obsessed in a nosey old Mulleny kind of way. No. And definitely not because he was gagging for gory details involving blood or smashed teeth or broken bones. Stefan only wanted to know about the hammer attack because – sweetie pie – he was worried about the effect it might have had on little old moi .
‘You must have been terrified , Claudia. You poor thing,’ Stefan put his hands on my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes. When he sighed his breath smelt of chocolate. Mmmm.
‘Two men smash up another while you’re stuck inthe optician’s all by yourself? Just you? No customers?’
As he probed me with questions, Stefan stroked my shoulders.
‘Yeah, only me. Dad was on lunch,’ I shrugged, mainly to nestle against the weight of his hands. This is unreal , I was still thinking. From where I stood, practically in Stefan’s lovin’ arms, eating chocolate to boot (Does life get any sweeter?) I could see our shop. It was garlanded with police tape. Dad was outside it, shaking his head.
‘Look, Pa. Ain’t such a crap day after all. I’m being