Stranger and Stranger Read Online Free Page A

Have drooled all over the place. Going back to sleep.
    June 3
    sidewalks skated, 0; sewer tunnels explored, 17; personal mottos created, 1
    OK—Silifordville is no Blandindulle, but it does have some superior sewers!!!!
    It’s always high priority with me, whenever we move to a new town, to check out the sewer system and its relative usefulness for my needs. The easiest place to get into the Silifordville sewers (that I’ve found so far) is on a dead-end street where all the buildings seem to be vacant or inhabited by invisible hermits—anyway, there was no one around to see me lift the manhole cover and sneak inside.
    Of course I was wearing my special full-body sewer suit with oxygen tank—you only need to get bacterial pneumonia once, that’s for sure!!

    Spent the next couple of hours slogging through tunnels and mapping them. Was pleased to see that they are only ankle-deep in filth, with nice picturesque crumbling walls, horribly/delightfully antique valves and manholes, and no sign of infiltration by other people. If there’s one thing that really spoils an otherwise lovely sewer system for me, it’s other people. Well. OK. I guess you could say that about pretty much everything I enjoy in life: skateboarding, ROCK AND ROLL, thrift stores, weird science, arts & crafts, muscle cars with engines forged in the speed-loving dungeons of darkness…cats…prankery…nighttime loitering…the outdoors…the indoors…SOLITUDE…
    Am making a new addition to my general philosophy of life. It goes a little something like this:
    If there’s one thing that really spoils [ fill in blank with anything good ], it’s OTHER PEOPLE.
    OK—enough philosophy for one night. Am now back at my original manhole and about to return to the surface. (Note: Original Manhole would be a great name for a band, if no otherphrases were available.) Excellent progress for one night! Cannot wait to come back!

    On the downside, there are no sidewalks in this town. Everyone parks their cars halfway up the lawns. Streets are too narrow and pavement too uneven for good street skating. Will have to keep an eye out for other skateable surfaces! Maybe a nice, smooth parking lot or empty swimming pool will turn up.

    Later
    On the upside, there is a tolerable junk shop in Silifordville, and as a little bonus it is next door to (and shares a Dumpster with) a hardware store! They may not keep late hours like Zenith did, but a Dumpster’s doors are always open to a kid with lock-picking skills.
    Later
    May need to get Raven back in the cage after all!!!!
    I think she must have overheard me telling Mom that I was going out to get to know the neighborhood. Anyway, when I gothome from investigating Silifordville’s sewers around one a.m., there was a police cruiser parked in front of our house.
    SIGH! So soon, it begins…
    Naturally I hid in some bushes to scope the situation. In a couple minutes the front door opened and a policeman left, politely saying good night to Mom. Once he was gone, I hurried inside to find out what the flagbrakes was going on. It wasn’t good. Apparently Raven had taken it upon herself to go door-to-door introducing herself to the neighbors. From what Mom said, it went a little bit like this:
     
    [Loud knocking.]
    N EIGHBOR : Yes? Is everything all right? Who are you?
    R AVEN : Uhhhh…Raven.
    N: Well, it’s past midnight, Raven. What is it you want?
    R: Uhhhhhhhhh…Iono?
    N: Get off my porch, you!
     
    So, yeah, after a few blocks of this, Officer Thomas came and picked her up. Am very glad that I sewed our address on her shirt yesterday. (Would have preferred to tattoo it on her arm but reflected that I would have to cross it out and update it every 13 months or so.) Am also REALLY FARBING THANKFUL that he didn’t try any force on her, or there would be one badly brokenpolice officer in Silifordville tonight. No, he just brought her home and gave Mom a talking-to about keeping her mentally slow daughter safe in the