breath and her eyes stay watery. She forces a smile and sips her drink. We turn the conversation successfully around to how she’s doing but it doesn’t last long. I end up drinking about a fourth of my coffee before telling her I’ve got some errands to run. God, I can’t deal with this pressure right now .
The New York air is cold and smells like snow. It’s not in the forecast but they’re often wrong. I’m walking down Broadway and as if on cue the sky begins to drop snowflakes all around me. People don’t look up or seem to notice, other than me. Everyone goes about their way walking down the sidewalk in a hurry, cars keep honking and stalling and sputtering forward in the rush hour traffic, and I’m walking there with no place to go.
Chapter 6
Scott
I sit at my desk with my feet propped up and the chair reclined to its maximum potential. The television’s on but I have it muted and I’m not even watching the pictures flutter by on the screen. I should really be working, but I can’t get my mind off Miranda. I’ve known her for so long and she’s been getting to me more and more with each passing day. I mean this not in a bad way, but the best possible way.
But I don’t like feeling weak. And I don’t like feeling in love.
The sky looks cold from my view on the top floor. It’s grey and cloudless, almost dead. Snow starts to sprinkle down and I watch it in a transfixed sort of way as I twirl the paperclip between my fingers. I don’t have anything else to do around here so I should stop kidding myself and embrace it.
I should really be working , I tell myself again to try and feel better.
Fuck it , another voice says and I turn my thoughts back to Miranda. There’s a knock on the door and I roll my eyes wondering who the fuck it is and what the fuck do they want.
“Yes?” I ask coldly.
The door opens and it’s Alexis, my secretary. She’s had her eyes on me since I hired her a year ago but I won’t give her the time of day. We had a fling once at a drunken office party but that was before I got with Miranda and if there’s one thing I’m not it’s a cheater. Besides, I have no interest in a woman who practically flings onto me such as Alexis. She’s too needy and too desperate, despite being attractive and with a good body – but too skinny for me.
“There’s a man here to see you about the Goldberg account.”
She says it like she’s asking me a question and I don’t like it. I don’t like incompetence. I consider being a smartass and confronting her about it but I don’t. I have to bite my fucking lip in order not to.
“Okay?” I say, “And his name, Alexis?”
“Um,” She pauses and looks at the ceiling nervously, “Fisher, I think?”
“You think.” I repeat coldly and smile at her in disbelief. What did I hire this idiot for?
“I’m ninety percent sure.”
“Send him in, then.” I say, and begin to twirl the paperclip between my fingers again.
It’s not twenty seconds later when he walks in. I’m bored with him as soon as I see him. He’s one of the old school business types. It’s his life. He walks up to me and shakes his hand and his big beefy fingers grip mine and for a moment I realize that I’m no better than he is. He might not be as rich as me but he does well for himself and he’s wearing an expensive suit.
But not as expensive as mine , I remind myself.
He sits down and begins spouting business jargon. I impress myself by somehow getting through the conversation successfully without even listening to him. It goes through one ear and out the other as I hold a fake smile on my lips and nod my head every ten or twenty seconds. He leaves and I prop my legs back up on the desk before flipping the volume back on the television.
Get out of my mind so much, Miranda .
****
After ruminating for another hour or so to no disturbances (thank you, Alexis), I leave work early. There’s no point in me being there,