you I won’t be the only woman dressed like this. It’s hot outside and I want to be comfortable.”
She threw me another blue jean skirt of hers. My legs seemed to go on for miles in it. I put on the pair of cowboy boots that much to my surprise still fit perfectly, no wonder Karlee bought me these. Amber sifts through her closet before grabbing one of those blouses you don’t wear a bra with.
“Um, no I’m not wearing this, you can’t wear a bra.”
“That’s the point.” She smiled. Oh my, no. I can’t just have my girls on display like that. Not around a ton of people.
I crossed my arms over my chest, I’m not budging. “I’m not wearing that.” I reached past her in her closet and found a white lacy tank top that my tan seemed to compliment. “What about this?”
Amber stared me up and down for what seemed like an eternity before smiling, “That looks perfect!” I stared into the full length mirror in her room. She wasn’t lying. I looked amazing and for the first time in a while, I smiled at my reflection confidently.
I excuse myself so I can pee before we get ready to leave. I’m already feeling extremely anxious and I reach into my purse to pull out my Dramamine capsules. I don’t tend to get sick in the car on short trips like driving around town, but I usually work myself up unintentionally on long trips. If I’m not careful I’ll end up with motion sickness and I don’t want to ruin this trip for Amber or myself.
Now, we have to hurry and pack our bags for the hotel. I’m not sure why we just didn’t get ready there. “You have everything right? I’m not going to any stores. We’re checking into the hotel and then going to walk around before the rodeo starts.” Amber asks sternly. I nodded my head yes as I climbed into her passenger seat.
Twenty minutes up the road, “Get Your Shine On” by Florida Georgia Line comes on and Amber turns it up to a near deafening volume as we sing along. Ok this could totally be fun. The rest of the ride was just as eventful. Song after song, we sing our hearts out, thankful no one else could hear us. My throat was a little parched from pretending I’m the next American Idol. I grab the can of Diet Dr Pepper I have in the console and take a big long swig to quench my thirst. Our singing marathon has kept my thoughts Brad-free which is exactly where I need to be. Thank God for Amber, I don’t think I would be making it through this without her. A song I wasn’t quite expecting to hear because I’d avoided it at all costs for the past two years was “Breath” by Breaking Benjamin, one of Karlee’s favorite bands blaring through the speakers. She used to blast them at deafening volumes driving Mom and Dad absolutely nuts. I even set her ring-tone on my phone to that song and eventually I just silenced my phone altogether because Brad said it was nothing but noisy shit and was going to rot my brain. The night of the accident, I remember her blaring this song singing at the top of her lungs. I remember laughing at her thinking she was absolutely nuts but I sang along with her. Amber gave me a quick look realizing it was playing and I blink back a few tears. I need to do this for Karlee and for me. I smiled as I reached over for the volume knob and turn it up to where I can’t hear any of the thoughts in my head. I feel proud of myself for being able to listen to this song, especially while I’m on my way to the same place that caused all my pain.
When we finally pull up to the hotel, we’re both anxious to get out the car. My legs need to stretch. Amber walks inside the hotel and smiles politely, “I have a reservation under Amber White.” She looks at me giving a confident smile as the guy at the desk pulls up the reservation. Two card keys later, we are all set.
The room had two queen size beds that looked very comfortable. The flat screen TV is mounted on the wall above the small desk. The