Speed-the-Plow Read Online Free Page B

either scheming or you're ziggin’ and zaggin’, hey I know you, Bob.
    G OULD : Oh yes, the scorn of the impotent. . .
    F OX : I know you, Bob. I know you from the back. I know what you're staying for.
    Gould: You do?
    F OX : Yes.
    G OULD : What?
    F OX : You're staying to Hide the Afikomen.
    G OULD : Yeah?
    F OX : You're staying to put those moves on your new secretary.
    G OULD : I am?
    F OX : Yeah, and it will not work.
    G OULD : It will not work, what are you saying . . .?
    F OX : No, I was just saying that she . . .
    G OULD : . . . she wouldn't go for me.
    F OX : That she won't go for you.
    G OULD ( pause ): Why?
    F OX : Why? ( Pause. ) I don't know.
    G OULD : What do you see . . .?
    F OX : I think . . . I think . . . you serious?
    G OULD : Yes.
    F OX : I don't want to pee on your parade.
    G OULD : No . . .
    F OX : I mean, I'm sorry that I took the edge off it.
    G OULD : I wasn't going to hit on her.
    F OX : Hmmm.
    G OULD : I was gonna . . .
    F OX : You were gonna work.
    G OULD : Yes.
    F OX : Oh.
    G OULD ( pause ): But tell me what you see.
    F OX : What I see, what I saw, just an observation . . .
    G OULD : . . . yes . . .
    F OX : It's not important.
    G OULD : Tell me what you see. Really.
    F OX : I just thought, I just thought she falls between two stools.
    G OULD : And what would those stools be?
    F OX : That she is not, just some, you know, a “floozy” . . .
    G OULD : A “floozy” . . .
    F OX : . . . on the other hand, I think I'd have to say, I don't think she is so ambitious she would schtup you just to get ahead. ( Pause. ) That's all. ( Pause. )
    G OULD : What if she just “liked” me? ( Pause. )
    F OX : If she just “liked” you?
    G OULD : Yes.
    F OX : Ummm. ( Pause. )
    G OULD : Yes.
    F OX : You're saying, if she just. . . liked you . .. ( Pause. )
    G OULD : You mean nobody loves me for myself.
    F OX : No.
    G OULD : No ?
    F OX : Not in this office . . .
    G OULD : And she's neither, what, vacant nor ambitious enough to go . . .
    F OX : . . . I'm not saying you don't deserve it, you do deserve it. Hey, . . . I think you're worth it.
    G OULD : Thank you. You're saying that she's neither, what, dumb, nor ambitious enough, she would go to bed with me.
    F OX : . . . she's too, she's too . . .
    G OULD : She's too . . . High-line . . .?
    F OX : No, she's, she's too . . .
    G OULD : She's too . . .
    F OX : . . . yes.
    G OULD : Then what's she doing in this office?
    F OX : She's a Temporary Worker.
    G OULD : You're full of it, Chuck.
    F OX : Maybe. And I didn't mean to take the shine off our . . .
    G OULD : Hey hey he sends the cross, he sends the strength to bear it. Go to, go to lunch, I'll meet you at. . .
    F OX : I didn't mean to imply . . .
    G OULD : Imply. Naaa. Nobody Loves Me. Nobody loves me for myself. Hey, Big Deal, don't go mopin’ on me here. We'll go and celebrate. A Douglas Brown Film. Fox and Gould . . .
    F OX : . . . you're very kind . . .
    G OULD : . . . you brought the guy in. Fox and Gould Present:
    F OX : I'll see you at lunch . . . ( Starts to exit. )
    G OULD : But I bet she would go, I bet she would go out with me.
    F OX : I bet she would, too.
    G OULD : No, No. I'm saying, I think that she “likes” me.
    F OX : Yeah. I'm sure she does.
    G OULD : No, joking apart, Babe. My perceptions . . . Say I'm nuts, I don't think so—she likes me, and she'd go out with me.
    F OX : How much?
    G OULD : How much? Seriously . . .? ( Pause. )
    F OX : Yeah.
    G OULD : . . . that she would . . .?
    F OX : Yeah. That she would anything. ( Pause. ) That she would anything. ( Pause. ) That she would deal with you in any other than a professional way. ( Pause. )
    G OULD : Well, my, my, my, my, my.
    F OX : What can I tell you, “ Bob. ”
    G OULD : That I can get her on a date, that I can get her to my house, that I can screw her.
    F OX : I don't think so.
    G OULD : How much? ( Pause. )
    F OX : A hundred bucks.
    G OULD : That's enough?
    F OX : Five hundred bucks that you can't.
    G OULD : Five hundred? That's