Speak to the Earth Read Online Free Page A

have touched forty degrees. Fifteen minutes later he stepped out of the shower again, chilled to the bone.
    Bryan dabbed another bit of toilet paper on his wound, then extracted a metre of dental floss from the plastic container. Pulling back his lips like a crazed ape, he began to floss, jamming the minty thread between his teeth, working it back and forth and yanking it out again, occasionally flicking bits of food onto the mirror. He then brushed his teeth. Twice. He swirled mouthwash around, gargled and spat into the sink.
    The last stage of the battle had been reached. Bryan pulled the cap off a bottle of deodorant and, raising his arm like a victorious warrior, pumped a spray of fragrant liquid into his hairy armpit. For good measure, he pumped again. The bottle emitted a light farting noise. It was empty.
    “Damn!” said the knight for the second time. He sneaked into his mother’s bedroom and searched among the few bottles and jars on her dresser until he found an anti-perspirant stick with a wildflower depicted on the front. He applied a thick layer to his unprotected armpit, added some to the sprayed side, added more to the firstside. He went into his room, flapping his arms to dry the sticky varnish. Then he dressed, taking twenty minutes to create the impression that he had tossed on his clothing on the way out the door. He took a long, deep breath and wished himself luck.
    As Bryan left the house, Jimmy yelled, “Lookin’ good, nephew. She’ll love ya. Especially the toilet paper on your lip!”

FOUR
    W hen Bryan bounded into the kitchen for breakfast one Saturday morning a week or so later, Jimmy was dishing out three portions of his famous Eggs James — a concoction of scrambled eggs, onions and tomatoes that looked like a modern painting on the plate. Iris was pouring coffee.
    “Mom,” Bryan said as he took his seat, “could you do me a small tiny little favour?”
    Iris gathered her hair together at the nape of her neck and clipped a plastic barrette around it. “Sure,” she said, throwing her arms out wide. “But first you have to tell me how you like my new T-shirt.”
    On the front of her bright green shirt “ ORCA SOUND RAINFOREST ” was embossed in darker green on a white conifer.
    “It’s nice, Mom, except that the colours are a bit mixed up. Most of the trees around here are green. What’s it all about?”
    “A few of us around town have formed a committeeto try and convince the provincial government to declare Orca Sound a natural preserve. You know, so we can protect the old-growth rainforest. Some of the animals and plants here are unique in the world. Did you know that?”
    “That’s real nice, Mom. Now about —”
    “I’d like to hear what the big logging companies like MFI will have to say about your committee,” Jimmy said, his mouth full of eggs and toast.
    “Who gives a damn
what
MFI thinks,” Iris shot back.
    “Um, before you guys start your daily argument, could I get any answer, Mom?”
    Iris smiled. “Sorry. What’s the favour?”
    “Could you look over the essay I wrote for Richmond?”
    “Ah, the I-failed-the-test-so-I-had-to-write-an-essay essay?’ Jimmy said.
    “Uncle, you’re going to be wearing these eggs if you don’t watch it. And, yes, that’s the essay. Anyway, Mom, can you check the spelling and grammar and stuff? Don’t change any of the facts, even if you don’t agree with them, okay? Richmond’s husband works for MFI and she thinks the company walks on water.”
    “So does the company. Okay, leave it in the family room.”
    “Thanks, Mom.”
    The kitchen door banged open and Walter shambled in, kicked off his rubber boots, poured himself a coffee and sat down.
    Walter was a Nootka who lived with an ancient Irish setter named Dog in a trailer next to Norm’s Bed ‘n Breakfast. Before Jimmy had moved in, Walter had done odd jobs for Iris — a convenient but embarrassing state of affairs because Walter would not let Iris pay him. He