Song of the Hummingbird Read Online Free Page A

him. He was torn by repulsion and fear, as well as by an inexplicable desire to know more about the old woman and her past. However, he knew that he had transgressed the boundaries of a mere search for knowledge and information when he willingly listened to what was forbidden by his own religion. He felt bitterly culpable because it was he who had encouraged her to invoke that sordid past.
    Huitzitzilin sensed Father Benito’s anguish and she decided to turn to the reason he was there, her confession. “Let me now confess another of my sins, young priest. I remained here in my father’s house until the age of fifteen. Shortly after that time, I was sent to Tenochtitlan to complete my preparation for marriage. There, I became part of the court that surrounded Moctezuma, thereby exposing myself to partners that might have been eligible for matrimony with me.”
    Father Benito began to regain his composure as the woman spoke of practices that sounded almost the same as those of his own people, and he gratefully prepared himself to hear her confession. This time he was patient, waiting for her to get to the sin that would end his afternoon visit.
    â€œZintle was also sent to the court because, as I have told you, he was related by blood to Moctezuma and thereby had to be trained in case he might one day be eligible for governor, or even king.”
    â€œAnd you fornicated again!”
    The priest’s voice was smug, bordering on sarcastic. However, it was relief that he was feeling because here at least was a sin with which he could deal. Weakness of the flesh was well known to Holy Mother Church, unlike the demonic ways of the woman’s people.
    Huitzitzilin looked at the priest; her stare was a mix of offense as well as hostility, as if she had been robbed or cheated out of her words.
    â€œYes, many times over. He and I took every opportunity to love one another. Until the month when my bleeding stopped and I knew that I was with child. At that time I went to the healer, a woman not too much older than I, but one who knew the secrets of herbs. She prepared a substance and put it in a pot which she cooked. Then I sat on the pot so that the fumes it gave off entered my body. Next day, I was rid of the child that would have had me killed before my time.”
    Father Benito was stunned by Huit-zitzilin’s admission. First he gawked at her, not knowing what to say, then he looked down, staring at the leather straps of his sandals. His mind groped and floundered in an attempt to find pardon for what she had done. This was far greater, he acknowledged, than a mere sin of the flesh.
    â€œYou took the life of an unborn child, and you are asking for forgiveness?”
    â€œWho is it who forgives? You or your god.”
    â€œGod. I am only his instrument.”
    â€œWell, then, you must absolve me.”
    â€œOnly if you are repentant.”
    â€œI would have been killed if he had discovered it.”
    â€œHe? Do you mean that boy with whom. . .”
    â€œNo! Not him. I mean the man to whom I was at the time betrothed. His name was Tetla, and I had been given to him as a concubine. It was as if I were to be his wife. He would have had my heart cut out for deceiving him with another man. So you see, it was the life of the unborn child, or mine. What would you have done in my place?”
    The priest was appalled by her question. “It’s impossible to put myself in your place. I’m a man, not a woman.”
    â€œThen don’t judge me.”
    â€œI’m not judging you. I’m merely asking if you repent of your most grievous sin.”
    â€œI would do it again because it meant my life.”
    Benito was exhausted by the rapid, almost hostile exchange of words. He was shocked by the woman’s determination and by her boldness.
    â€œI want to absolve you, but you must give me time.”
    â€œYes. I want you to return because there is much more that I have to