Somerville Farce Read Online Free Page B

when
Pinch showed signs of taking exception to the procedure, but it was
eminently less personally painful to Harry.
    “I think we’d best have a small talk, boys,”
he said now. “What is all this business about knights of old—and
why would I need to be a stallion? I have to tell you, I don’t much
like the sound of this. Now, what foolish mess have you two created
this time?”
    Willie—his weight pressing hard against his
brother’s palm, which was at that moment pressed against the
younger man’s chest as that same young man leaned forward, the
better to reach his opponent—narrowed his eyes to say
exasperatedly, forgetting that this small particle of information
had yet to be shared with his sibling, “It’s that terrible woman,
of course. What else could be the problem?”
    “Just the one woman? What about the others?”
Andy said by way of rebuttal, leaning against the duke’s other
palm, his hands reaching forward on the off-chance he might be able
to get in at least one good shot at his fellow conniver. “I should
think you’d believe the others to be a small bit of the problem.
Especially the last one. She’s the one what queered the whole
thing.”
    The Duke of Glynde, suppressing a suddenly
happier memory of days spent battling biting insects and
debilitating heat on the Peninsula while on the lookout for enemy
snipers in the hills, took two fistfuls of shirt—one in either
hand—and pulled the two arguing youths to within a flea’s whisker
of his own face. “From the beginning, boys—now!” he commanded
tersely, his dark eyes flashing fire.
    So saying, and after shifting his narrowed
gaze first to one boy, then the other, Harry pushed them both
rudely away and sat down in the chair William had recently vacated.
“I’m waiting, boys. It has, all in all, been a trying week. Don’t
push my patience beyond another moment.”
    Willie and Andy, who had only seconds
earlier believed there could be no greater joy in life than that of
beating each other senseless, exchanged glances, immediately called
a silent truce, and joined forces against a common enemy. Arms
linked, they stepped in front of the chair, prepared to make a
clean breast of things.
    “I...” Andy began, and then as Willie
pointedly cleared his throat, amended, “that is, we—Willie and
I—were very worried about your distressed state when you learned
that Somerville had flown the coop.”
    Willie nodded vigorously. “Terribly worried,
Harry. You could have gone into a decline or taken up gambling or
something, for all we knew. It didn’t seem fair.”
    “So, knowing you’d have to return to
Glyndevaron without having the chance to put a ball or a poke into
Somerville, we decided that you might be able to revenge yourself
in some other way.”
    Andy leered at his friend. “Yes, Willie
wanted... I mean, we wanted you to be able to poke somebody,
right?”
    Willie, who hadn’t blushed in years, turned
beet red from his chin to the roots of his blond hair.
    Harry closed his eyes as the fuse burned
down closer to the bomb, lighting a small fire in his belly. “Go
on,” he urged quietly, the words “knights of old” ringing in his
ears. Had the two nodcocks actually believed he would...? No, it
was impossible, even for them.
    When the boys hesitated, he added, still
with his eyes shut, “Perhaps it might help move things along a
trifle if I tell you that I am aware Somerville has two
daughters.”
    Andy’s thin, underpaid-assistant-rector’s
solemn face split into an unholy grin. “Oh, yes, sir, that does
help, indeed. Did you know they are twins—the daughters, I mean?
Sleep in the same bed and everything?”
    Glynde’s eyes popped open and he impaled
Andy with their hot glare. “And just how did you come by that
interesting piece of information, Mr. Carlisle?” he asked tightly.
“To this moment, I had foolishly assumed you two were lamenting the
failure of what I’m sure, in your minuscule minds, you