do is bonkers. Pointless.’
‘I know, but it’s the way it’s done here. Once we get commissioned it’ll all be different. Just suck it up for the next few months and stop asking why.’
‘I suppose,’ said Michelle, despondently.
‘When will your warning be reviewed?’
‘Four weeks.’
‘You can do it,’ said Sam. ‘Head down, work hard and don’t question orders.’
‘But this is what I said to my dad. I was only obeying orders isn’t a good argument.’
Sam laughed. ‘The DS aren’t asking you to shoot unarmed civilians – they’re seeing how far they can push you.’
‘Maybe.’
‘And why not take some initiative? The DS like that. They want to see us being proactive – you know, leading from the front.’
‘Doing what?’
‘I dunno.’ Sam scratched her head. ‘Look, Arnhem Company ran that talent night. How about doing something like that?’
‘The talent night was pants.’
It had been embarrassingly awful but it wasn’t the point: the point was that Arnhem Company’s cadets had taken it upon themselves to try to entertain everyone else. ‘So organise something that isn’t. Look,’ said Sam, ‘if you sink your father will have been proved right. And if that happens you’ll have to go home and live with him and your step-mother and eat humble pie.’
‘You’re right.’ Michelle leaned over and gave Sam a big hug. ‘OK, Dettingen Company is going to have a party. And it’s going to be the best ever.’
‘Sounds good to me,’ said Sam.
‘When?’ said Sarah, the cadet most likely to win the sash of honour. ‘When are we going to do this?’
She, like the rest of Michelle’s colleagues, was lounging around in one of the battered leather armchairs in the cadet mess anteroom.
‘This party has got to be on a weekend when everyone’s here,’ said Kim. ‘We don’t want it to be a flop because half the others are away on exercise. Hang on, I’ll get the programme.’ She shot out of the room to the noticeboard, which had the copies of Academy orders and company daily detail which together mapped out their daily, weekly and termly routines.
A minute later she was back with the green A4 sheets. She flopped back into the chair and began leafing through the pages.
‘Nope, nope, nope,’ she said as she scanned the weekly programmes and saw which platoons were being sent off on adventurous training or on exercise. ‘Eureka. Got it. Oh, and it’ll be Valentine’s weekend.’
‘It’s written in the stars,’ said Michelle. ‘So what’s the theme to be? Vamps and Tramps? Shipwreck?’
There was a chorus of catcalls.
‘You think of better,’ she said, sulking.
‘Films?’ suggested Sam.
‘That’s rubbish,’ said Michelle. ‘All the lads’ll pick characters from The Bridge on the River Kwai or The Longest Day or A Bridge Too Far . Honestly, they’ll all turn up in uniform and what’s the point in that?’
‘But that’s exactly the point,’ said Sam. ‘You know what men are like when it comes to stuff like dressing up: they’ll only do it if they can do it easily. If we make it too difficult they’ll bail out.’
The others agreed. ‘And anyway,’ said Sarah, ‘we can all glam up. We can be film stars. Sam can come as Scarlett Johansson. She’s little and blonde with enviable knockers.’
‘Oi,’ protested Sam, throwing a cushion across the room, despite the fact that what Sarah said about her tits was true. Even in a top-of-the-range sports bra, running was always uncomfortable because of her boobs and army uniforms had never been designed with an hourglass figure like hers in mind.
Everyone else laughed but then the cadets began to discuss who they would come dressed as.
Michelle realised she was completely outnumbered in her objection to the theme and joined in. ‘On that basis I shall come as Nicole Kidman. Isn’t she hugely tall?’
‘Good shout,’ said Kim. ‘Tall and gorgeous. She’s yours.’ Michelle