Could it be that I was expected to place this object on my head? Was the message playing on the screen intended specifically for me ? It seemed too much to believe, yet there had to be a purpose for the video. With some degree of apprehension, I retrieved the headband, placed it on my head and pressed the sequence of buttons, as I had seen on the video more times than I cared to count.
Within moments I became lightheaded. The sensation escalated until I felt as though the entire universe was speaking to me at once in different voices and languages. This sensation gave way to what seemed to be some fantastic dreams running in fast play…everything sped along so rapidly that I couldn’t focus or keep up with it all, and at some point I fell asleep.
When I awoke, I found myself reclined in the control room captain’s chair, though I had no memory of leaving the infirmary. My head ached. Traces of voices still rang inside my head. Out of habit, I glanced at my watch and was shocked to find that several hours had passed since I had entered the infirmary As I lifted my head and glanced at the control panel in front of me, I was amazed to discover that I now understood the figures and symbols flashing and scrolling across the small screens. These were status reports – details as to conditions inside and outside of the ship and information about journey – speed, location, and special coordinates. While I was absorbing the data and trying to adjust to this unexpected development, the male voice spoke to me.
“You should be able to understand me now. Please respond affirmatively in Federation Galactic Language.”
For the briefest moment I thought how am I to respond in a language I do not know when it occurred to me that what I had just heard was not in English. Just as quickly, I realized that I did know what to respond; so, in the Federation Galactic Language I replied, “Yes, I understand you.”
The voice continued. “This ship is equipped with a standard Federation educational headband which, upon proper application, has provided you with a thorough understanding of our language so that effective communication can occur henceforward.”
“Who are you?” I asked.
“I am the ship.” the voice responded.
“Are you sentient?”
“No. I am designed to perform extrapolations based on available and observed data, from which I make decisions and execute actions according to programmed command patterns.”
I didn’t have to think long before saying, “I command you to take me back to where you found me!” I said.
“I am unable to comply with your command.”
“Why?” I asked with some angst.
“I am programmed to perform a principal command that supersedes all other commands until completed.”
“What is this principal command ?”
“That information is restricted.”
I thought for a moment. “Can you tell me where we’re going?” I pressed.
“That information is restricted.”
“Can you tell me how long the journey will be?”
“Eight hundred, twenty-two hours and twenty-six minutes at our current speed,” was the response.
The response was of course not actually in Earth hours and minutes, rather I understood this to be the equivalent duration. How I knew this I could only attribute to whatever this headband had done to my brain, thought I did have to do some mental calculations using my newly acquired information. As I sat there contemplating the situation, I realized that I could perhaps get some information from the ship that might explain what was going on.
“How did you happen to be in the swamp back on Earth?”
“What is Earth ”?
“Earth is the planet where I found you.”
“This ship was taken illegally and flown to Earth, where it landed in the place you call swamp .”
“How long have you been in the swamp?”
“This ship was on Earth for 4,563,983 hours 42 minutes and 38 seconds.”
“Holy shit,” I thought, making a rough