Solace of the Road Read Online Free Page A
yours.’
Fiona came over and put her hands on my shoulders. ‘Holly! Calm down.’
I hated her touching me with her mad hot fingers. I shoved her out the way and ran from the room.
I went upstairs. I slammed my bedroom door and locked it. She came and knocked a few minutes later.
‘Holly?’
‘Go away, Mrs Empty-Ovary.’
Silence.
Then Fiona again. ‘What was that you just called me?’
‘Nothing.’
‘No. It wasn’t nothing, Holly. What did you say?’
I didn’t answer.
She went away again. Ten minutes later she was back.
‘I’m going out to the shops,’ she called through the door. Her voice was wavy like it had tears in it. ‘When I get back I hope you’ll be ready to apologize.’
There was silence. Then I heard her go away.
Soon as I heard that front door slam downstairs, I unlocked my door and went straight up to the top of the house to get the wig.
Six
Call Me Solace
I reached the top landing, took the wig out of the drawer and rushed back to my room. All the time it felt like someone was watching me. A ghost, a bad ghost, out to get me.
I locked my door behind me to try to shut it out, but it followed me right under the crack.
I sat at the mirror with my head down and breathed out. Then I pulled on the wig.
I raised my head and stared in the glass. The room seemed to get darker. Outside, the rain had turned to snow. The hair of the wig and my own baby-fine brown hair were muddled round the edges. It was half Holly Hogan and half a crazy stranger. Stay cool, girl , I told myself. Tidy up .
My heart thumping, I tucked in the stray dark bits. Then I brushed down the magic ash-blonde strands, combing them forward, then back, straightening the parting.
When I’d finished, I put down the brush and took another breath. I switched on the bedside lamp, sothat the shadows fell back to the room’s edges. Then I looked back in the glass.
And there she was.
The new girl on the block.
She was three years older than Holly Hogan, dead smart, a real cool glamour girl.
Grace told me all about glamour girls. They have slim-slam hips, she said, and they blow smoke rings at all the mogits. They have the whole world at their feet.
In this girl’s eyes was a bit of Mam. She was halfway between Holly and Mrs Bridget Hogan. But she was soaring above us both on the way to a different life. She was the kind of girl you can only watch, you can never be.
Her eyes blinked. Her mouth opened. I picked up the hairbrush again. I reached for the shell box and put on Mam’s old amber ring. It was big for my ring finger, so I put it on the next one up. Mam’s voice was in my head, talking to me, the way she used to when I was brushing her hair, back in the sky house. I was brushing and staring through the mirror to the other side, where the clouds bumped up against the window, way above the ground. Mam smiled back in her halter-neck dress, the one that showed off her cream shoulders and hugged her above the knees. Her hair was shiny curls but her eyebrows were dark, like frowns. She had her see-through drink in one hand and her lipstick in the other. She was getting ready to go out to her dancing job and I was brushing away.
‘What shall we call her, Holl?’ asked Mam.
We looked at the new girl on the block.
‘Dunno. Something fancy.’
We thought.
Then Mammy had it. ‘D’you remember the horse? The horse you chose that time? That Denny put the money on?’
I saw a ragged row of chestnut and muscle, horses with necks stretched out like giraffes. The most beautiful horse in the world was straining at the front, different from the others, pale gold, palomino. ‘Sister Solace,’ I whispered. ‘I remember her, Mam.’
‘This girl here – same shade, right?’
‘Yeah.’
‘And fast?’
‘A winner.’
‘So we’ll call her Solace, Holl. After the horse.’
‘Solace?’ The locks kissed my cheeks. ‘Yeah. After the horse, Mam. ’S perfect. That’s who I am. I’m a girl called Solace.
Fiona came over and put her hands on my shoulders. ‘Holly! Calm down.’
I hated her touching me with her mad hot fingers. I shoved her out the way and ran from the room.
I went upstairs. I slammed my bedroom door and locked it. She came and knocked a few minutes later.
‘Holly?’
‘Go away, Mrs Empty-Ovary.’
Silence.
Then Fiona again. ‘What was that you just called me?’
‘Nothing.’
‘No. It wasn’t nothing, Holly. What did you say?’
I didn’t answer.
She went away again. Ten minutes later she was back.
‘I’m going out to the shops,’ she called through the door. Her voice was wavy like it had tears in it. ‘When I get back I hope you’ll be ready to apologize.’
There was silence. Then I heard her go away.
Soon as I heard that front door slam downstairs, I unlocked my door and went straight up to the top of the house to get the wig.
Six
Call Me Solace
I reached the top landing, took the wig out of the drawer and rushed back to my room. All the time it felt like someone was watching me. A ghost, a bad ghost, out to get me.
I locked my door behind me to try to shut it out, but it followed me right under the crack.
I sat at the mirror with my head down and breathed out. Then I pulled on the wig.
I raised my head and stared in the glass. The room seemed to get darker. Outside, the rain had turned to snow. The hair of the wig and my own baby-fine brown hair were muddled round the edges. It was half Holly Hogan and half a crazy stranger. Stay cool, girl , I told myself. Tidy up .
My heart thumping, I tucked in the stray dark bits. Then I brushed down the magic ash-blonde strands, combing them forward, then back, straightening the parting.
When I’d finished, I put down the brush and took another breath. I switched on the bedside lamp, sothat the shadows fell back to the room’s edges. Then I looked back in the glass.
And there she was.
The new girl on the block.
She was three years older than Holly Hogan, dead smart, a real cool glamour girl.
Grace told me all about glamour girls. They have slim-slam hips, she said, and they blow smoke rings at all the mogits. They have the whole world at their feet.
In this girl’s eyes was a bit of Mam. She was halfway between Holly and Mrs Bridget Hogan. But she was soaring above us both on the way to a different life. She was the kind of girl you can only watch, you can never be.
Her eyes blinked. Her mouth opened. I picked up the hairbrush again. I reached for the shell box and put on Mam’s old amber ring. It was big for my ring finger, so I put it on the next one up. Mam’s voice was in my head, talking to me, the way she used to when I was brushing her hair, back in the sky house. I was brushing and staring through the mirror to the other side, where the clouds bumped up against the window, way above the ground. Mam smiled back in her halter-neck dress, the one that showed off her cream shoulders and hugged her above the knees. Her hair was shiny curls but her eyebrows were dark, like frowns. She had her see-through drink in one hand and her lipstick in the other. She was getting ready to go out to her dancing job and I was brushing away.
‘What shall we call her, Holl?’ asked Mam.
We looked at the new girl on the block.
‘Dunno. Something fancy.’
We thought.
Then Mammy had it. ‘D’you remember the horse? The horse you chose that time? That Denny put the money on?’
I saw a ragged row of chestnut and muscle, horses with necks stretched out like giraffes. The most beautiful horse in the world was straining at the front, different from the others, pale gold, palomino. ‘Sister Solace,’ I whispered. ‘I remember her, Mam.’
‘This girl here – same shade, right?’
‘Yeah.’
‘And fast?’
‘A winner.’
‘So we’ll call her Solace, Holl. After the horse.’
‘Solace?’ The locks kissed my cheeks. ‘Yeah. After the horse, Mam. ’S perfect. That’s who I am. I’m a girl called Solace.