Iâm not being tortured or anything. My uncle was kind enough to take me in. Heâs just a little strange. Maybe Iâm the truly strange one with my worries about being drugged and my blockading my door at night and imagining what might be happening in that shed. Too much imagination, thatâs me.
Ms. Shabbas has a little talk with me that afternoon. She asks me to wait behind when the rest of the class is leaving for gym. Sheâs worried about my behavior. âIs everything all right,â she pauses, ââ¦at home?â
What home? That is what I want to say. I want to scream and cry and have her hold me in her arms while I sob against her shoulder. But what good would that do? So I give her my patented sunny smile.
âEverything is fine,â I say. âReally fine.â
But Ms. Shabbas doesnât smile back. âReally?â she says in a soft voice. Then she looks beyond that smile, right into my eyes as if she can see my thoughts. Itâs not the way my uncle does it, not like someone stealing a part of me. Itâs not even like an adult looking at a kid whoâs being unreasonable. Itâs the way atrue friend looks at you when they say they want to help you and really mean it.
âNo,â I whisper. âItâs not.â
And then I tell her. I donât tell her everything because now that Iâm in school, my fears seem a little foolish, and I donât want her to think Iâm being melodramatic. But I tell her how I feel, how weird it is in my uncleâs house, how I really, really donât want to be there. She doesnât interrupt or ask questions. She just listens, nodding every now and then. When Iâm done I feel lighter, as if Iâm no longer carrying a ten-ton truck on my shoulders.
Ms. Shabbas lightly places her hands on my shoulders. She doesnât say Iâm being foolish or that I should grow up.
âSweetheart,â she says. âThank you for telling me.â She turns slightly to write something on a card that she hands to me. âHereâs my home phone and my cell phone. Call me anytime. Okay? Weâll keep an eye on this together, right?â
âRight,â I say. And for the rest of the day in school things almost do seem right.
But then I take one more deep breath and the school day is over. Thatâs bad. The only good thing is that it is Wednesday. That means I getto come back to school tomorrow and the next day before the weekend comes, which most kids love because it means we wonât have to go back to school for two days. Two whole days.
I walk home because it takes longer than the bus. I stop at a fast-food place to eat enough to kill my appetite. I donât have much money left, and I donât know what Iâll do when it runs out. But I try not to worry about that now. There are other, more pressing concerns.
Finally it is getting dark. I canât avoid it anymore. Iâm headed back to the house of doom.
5
Eat and Grow Fat
Y OU MAY be asking yourself what life is like for me inside that house. Are there spiderwebs everywhere? Bats and centipedes and mold on the walls? Are there chains clanking down in the cellar and ghostly moans coming from the attic?
No. Actually, aside from being dark and set back from the road, it isnât really all that spooky a place to look at. Itâs a hundred years old, but there are older places in town. And the house is full of modern appliances in the kitchen and the living room. Dishwasher, microwave, a television with a cable hookup. My uncle even hasa personal computer. I saw it through the open door of his study once. He spends a lot of his time in that room and I imagine he must be surfing the Net, visiting all the weirdest websites, probably.
What makes that house strange is the way it feels when you get inside it. I saw an old movie once where someone walks into a room and then the door disappears and the walls start moving