to her. But his taste, the feel of him in her mouth…it had been hard to stop when he had called out his warning. If she hadn’t been so desperate to complete the act to prove that she could, she’d have kept going for sure. And then it had all gone to hell.
She didn’t even know her own body well enough to realize that she wasn’t physically ready to take him. When she’d felt that burning pain as she tried to force his length inside her, dark memories had assailed her and threatened to pull her under. Her humiliation was complete when he called her on it and she had wanted to die on the spot. But he had given her a choice to continue, no pressure, no condemnation – just a choice. And then it had felt amazing, like someone had set fire to her from the inside. She had felt so full when he finally slid all the way into her depths and something inside of her just kept winding tighter and tighter. At that point, her instincts had taken over and all she could do was feel.
And just like that, it was gone and she was back under a heavy weight, a heaving, sweaty body ripping her apart as a thick hand covered her mouth to muffle her cries. She’d closed her eyes so she could escape and go to her quiet place, but then Shane’s voice had called to her through the darkness. He’d sounded worried and she had to see what was going on, to make sure he was okay. And when she opened her eyes, he was there and she knew she’d lost time again. It was happening more often now and she was starting to worry that one day she might not be able to find her way back.
As the water turned cold, she climbed out of the shower and dried off, suddenly eager to get out of this room. It was almost worse now because she had had those few minutes of pure pleasure with Shane so she knew it was possible, but it could also turn on a dime and plunge her into darkness. And worst of all, she’d used someone she loved in the most horrific way – she had been selfish and unthinking. She pulled her clothes on and grabbed her stuff. As she passed the bed and grabbed her jacket, she realized that it hadn’t been worth it because she’d lost the one person she’d hope to be able to share that part of her life with and she had no one but herself to blame.
Chapter 3
Where the fuck are you?
Shane glanced at the text on his phone and then tossed it back on the coffee table. It was Gabe’s third text in the past hour and Logan had already left two messages berating him for being MIA the past three weeks. He leaned back against the couch and looked around the room. It was almost entirely done in white except for the occasional black accent. It made him feel like he was in a hospital or institution of some sort, but Paige insisted it was all the rage. Everything in Paige’s life had to be that way – clean, expensive and flawless. At least on the outside where people could see. Inside everything was the color of blood and shit. Dark, swirling and violent. And he had managed to somehow fit perfectly into her fucked up little world. It made sense, he supposed, since he was just as fucked up, if not more so.
The click clack of her stilettos told him she was near, the kitchen probably. Even when they were in her apartment, safe from prying eyes and the ever more important flash of cameras, she was in full garb.
“Babe, don’t forget we’re having dinner with my parents tonight. Wear the blue Armani,” she said as she clicked her way out of the kitchen and towards the front door. She paused at the couch and leaned over the back of it to peck him on the cheek. It took everything in him not to pull away from the sticky, heavily painted red lips. “I left you a little something in the bathroom,” she said brightly as she flung her designer bag over her shoulder and left, her perfect body showcased in a tight, white mini-dress. God, sometimes he really hated her.
Paige Moran was a daddy’s girl, even at 24 years old. Her rich, banker father had