Seth Baumgartner's Love Manifesto Read Online Free Page B

Veronica can just turn off her feelings like they’re a lawn sprinkler, how real could our relationship have been?”
    I take a half swing and give the ball a swat. It pops off the root and makes a good line up the fairway. It bounces a few times and comes to a halt around forty yards short of Dimitri’s. It’s still only a stroke to the dance floor. Not bad.
    â€œYou’re better off without her,” Dimitri says.
    â€œEasy for you to say. Aside from that mysterious Cassandra girl you claim to have met freshman year, you’ve never even had a girlfriend.”
    â€œHer name is Clarisse, and she’s from Oregon. She had to go back west and—”
    â€œYeah, I’ve heard it all. You’ll tell me two or three things about her and then get to the part about how she liked hooking up in the Starbucks bathroom.”
    â€œIt’s true,” Dimitri says. We come out from under thetrees, and the sun blinds me. I pull down the brim of my cap and put on my sunglasses. Dimitri seems unfazed by the light, which is just further evidence that he’s some sort of unnatural creature. “Veronica’s a ditz,” he says. “She’s a space cadet.”
    â€œNo, she’s not,” I say. “She’s brilliant in math, pretty good in science, too.”
    â€œOkay, maybe she’s not a space cadet, but she’s no high-ranking space official. She’s like a space private first class. A space corporal at best.”
    â€œIs ‘space idiot’ a rank? You’d qualify for that—probably get some kind of medal for exemplary service.”
    Dimitri ignores me and goes on. “I’ve said it since day one. You need someone who’s into the same things as you.” He begins counting on his fingers. “Veronica couldn’t care less about golf. You guys always argue about movies….”
    â€œGuys and girls are supposed to argue about movies.”
    â€œNot like you guys. I mean, what kind of girl hates Army of Darkness ? It’s a total classic. That’s why you’ve got to work here with me at the club.”
    â€œThe girls here love Sam Raimi movies?”
    â€œI’m just saying, you’ll meet one of the members’ daughters—maybe over by the pool, at the tennis courts—and you’ll just hit it off. I’m telling you. There are some grade-A hotties down here, and they like golf. They like golfers.”
    I hike my bag higher on my shoulder. “I’m not a golfer. I’m just good at golf. There’s a difference. Anyway, I’ve got a lot of things to sort out first.”
    â€œWhat’s to freakin’ sort out? You and Veronica only dated for a few months.”
    â€œIt was eight months, which isn’t so short,” I say. “Right now, I just need some downtime.”
    â€œYou might think you need downtime, but what you really need, my friend, is to get back in the saddle. Not only will it let you forget about Veronica, but if you really want her back, it’ll make her jealous as hell.”
    â€œAnd you’re an expert on this subject because…?”
    â€œHave you been living in a cave? There are, like, a million movies about this crap. Now shut up and swing.”
    We both hit up. Miraculously, my ball lands around eight feet to the right of the hole. Dimitri’s shot goes long and rolls off the back edge of the green. There’s hope for me yet. We’re both sitting three, and I’m in better shape. I pull out my putter as we make our way up.
    I hear the crackle of tires on gravel. A golf cart with an awning and several coolers mounted to the back rolls down the path from the next hole. The concession truck. A girl with long tanned legs and flip-flops sits behind the wheel. Her hair is pulled back under a baseball cap, and oversized sunglasses hide her face.
    â€œUnless you’re bringing us free food, get the hell out of here,”