Separation Anxiety Read Online Free Page B
Author: Lisa Suzanne
he was going.
“No,” I said immediately, and I saw a flash of relief in Jesse’s eyes. “He’ s never hurt me physically. We’re just… different people than we were when we got married. We’ve grown apart, and there’s no salvaging it.”
“Irreconcilable differences?” he asked, and I nodded ruefully, picking my drink back up and playing with the straw.
“I always thought that was such a copout, but now that it’s me, it’s actually pretty accurate.”
“I’m sorry, V,” he said. His eyes were dark and sincere.
“Thanks, Jesse.”
“How long have you known?” he asked, taking a sip of his beer as we both settled back into our chairs. Jesse crossed one leg over the other, one ankle resting on his other knee as he leaned back and drank his beer.
The view wasn’t too shabby.
“That I’m getting divorced?” I asked, the words still feeling strange falling out of my mouth.
“That there were differences that couldn’t be reconciled .”
“A year. Maybe more.”
“What happened a year ago that made you realize that?”
“ There isn’t one big thing, but what it comes down to is that I think we just fell out of love. Or maybe we never had that love in the first place; I don’t know. I know I don’t miss him when we’re apart, and I don’t think he misses me, either,” I said, realizing that I was rambling. I took another sip of my drink, and then I continued. “He’s become unrecognizable to me. He isn’t the Richard I fell in love with anymore. He runs around with a new group of friends and they’re all assholes, and he’s become one, too.
“Have you talked to anyone about it?” he asked.
I shook my head. “We tried couples counseling, but it didn’t work. We tried a lot of different things, but you’re the first person I have ever told.”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You haven’t talked to anybody about this?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
I shrugged. “Talking about it makes it real. We’re just separated right now.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked.
I nodded slowly. “Yes. I am positive. I’ve been living in limbo for a year, and it’s time to take the next step. I can’t keep living like this anymore. We haven’t officially filed for divorce, but I’m planning to fill out the papers this weekend and get everything filed early next week.”
“Do you need some help?” he asked.
“Yeah. You could print the papers for me so all I have to do is fill them out,” I said sarcastically, thinking about how all it would take for me to print the papers was to actually go to the website and locate them. It couldn’t be hard, but it was just one of those steps that seemed harder to take than it actually would be.
He chuckled, a nd then both of our drinks were suddenly empty.
“You want another?” he asked, nodding toward my glass.
I shook my head. “I shouldn’t.”
We sat in comfortable silence for a moment. “You ready to head home?” he asked.
I nodded reluctantly. I didn’t want to go home. Richard would be there, and I didn’t want to be reminded of the difficult tasks I had lying ahead of me. While we’d both known for awhile that it was over, actually ending it with that final cut of ties wasn’t going to be easy. Ending a relationship was never easy, but ending a marriage was completely different than dumping a boyfriend. No matter who you were, it cut and it hurt.
We paid our bills and headed out to Jesse’s truck. He drove one of those enormous Ford F fifty somethings, and something about that truck screamed sexy sensuality, just like the man who drove it. He opened the passenger door for me, and I stepped onto the running board and pulled myself up into the front passenger seat. He shut the door behind me, and as he walked to the driver’s side, I don’t know why, but suddenly I burst into tears.
He gracefully jumped up into the driver’s seat and gazed over at me, and then he reached across the
“No,” I said immediately, and I saw a flash of relief in Jesse’s eyes. “He’ s never hurt me physically. We’re just… different people than we were when we got married. We’ve grown apart, and there’s no salvaging it.”
“Irreconcilable differences?” he asked, and I nodded ruefully, picking my drink back up and playing with the straw.
“I always thought that was such a copout, but now that it’s me, it’s actually pretty accurate.”
“I’m sorry, V,” he said. His eyes were dark and sincere.
“Thanks, Jesse.”
“How long have you known?” he asked, taking a sip of his beer as we both settled back into our chairs. Jesse crossed one leg over the other, one ankle resting on his other knee as he leaned back and drank his beer.
The view wasn’t too shabby.
“That I’m getting divorced?” I asked, the words still feeling strange falling out of my mouth.
“That there were differences that couldn’t be reconciled .”
“A year. Maybe more.”
“What happened a year ago that made you realize that?”
“ There isn’t one big thing, but what it comes down to is that I think we just fell out of love. Or maybe we never had that love in the first place; I don’t know. I know I don’t miss him when we’re apart, and I don’t think he misses me, either,” I said, realizing that I was rambling. I took another sip of my drink, and then I continued. “He’s become unrecognizable to me. He isn’t the Richard I fell in love with anymore. He runs around with a new group of friends and they’re all assholes, and he’s become one, too.
“Have you talked to anyone about it?” he asked.
I shook my head. “We tried couples counseling, but it didn’t work. We tried a lot of different things, but you’re the first person I have ever told.”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You haven’t talked to anybody about this?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
I shrugged. “Talking about it makes it real. We’re just separated right now.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked.
I nodded slowly. “Yes. I am positive. I’ve been living in limbo for a year, and it’s time to take the next step. I can’t keep living like this anymore. We haven’t officially filed for divorce, but I’m planning to fill out the papers this weekend and get everything filed early next week.”
“Do you need some help?” he asked.
“Yeah. You could print the papers for me so all I have to do is fill them out,” I said sarcastically, thinking about how all it would take for me to print the papers was to actually go to the website and locate them. It couldn’t be hard, but it was just one of those steps that seemed harder to take than it actually would be.
He chuckled, a nd then both of our drinks were suddenly empty.
“You want another?” he asked, nodding toward my glass.
I shook my head. “I shouldn’t.”
We sat in comfortable silence for a moment. “You ready to head home?” he asked.
I nodded reluctantly. I didn’t want to go home. Richard would be there, and I didn’t want to be reminded of the difficult tasks I had lying ahead of me. While we’d both known for awhile that it was over, actually ending it with that final cut of ties wasn’t going to be easy. Ending a relationship was never easy, but ending a marriage was completely different than dumping a boyfriend. No matter who you were, it cut and it hurt.
We paid our bills and headed out to Jesse’s truck. He drove one of those enormous Ford F fifty somethings, and something about that truck screamed sexy sensuality, just like the man who drove it. He opened the passenger door for me, and I stepped onto the running board and pulled myself up into the front passenger seat. He shut the door behind me, and as he walked to the driver’s side, I don’t know why, but suddenly I burst into tears.
He gracefully jumped up into the driver’s seat and gazed over at me, and then he reached across the