twin. She’s your twin. Twin. Twin. Twin. Twin.”
Finding a long-lost twin only happens in the movies.Like in
The Parent Trap
! It didn’t happen in real life. Just that past summer, I had been to Korea on a “roots” tour with my mother, and I had had the opportunity to see my birth records at the adoption agency that handled my case in Seoul. There had been no mention of a twin. According to the official record, I had been born alone, a singleton. The document said that my mother had given birth to a daughter two years earlier, so that might mean I had an older sister, if I believed it. That information had been added to the record at a later date, so it was even more suspect than the other information. Who knew what, if anything, was true?
A few weeks earlier, I had been out with a friend named Robyn. She had gone to Korea to find her birth mother. They had a reunion, and when they did a DNA test, it turned out they weren’t a biological match. The birth search had been wrong, based on incorrect information, so Robyn and the woman had briefly thought they had found each other, only to be wrong. In Korea, very few birth mothers are brave enough to actually come forward, so Robyn had been feeling lucky. I couldn’t even fathom her sadness when they discovered the truth.
From my search, I knew I had a birth mother who had no interest in me making contact with her, so I let it go for now although I still hoped that day would come. Now, me having a twin? That was completely inconceivable. Yet, I couldn’t get rid of the thought. I mean, she could be my twin. She shared my birthday, and we looked exactly alike. Stranger things have happened. But what if she wasn’t a twin or even a relative? My head was spinning.
I had to write back to Anaïs, but how do I respond to a message like the one she had sent me? What to say? “Hey. LOL. This is crazy! [smile]. Ttyl?” I just didn’t have a response.
3
ANAÏS
waiting for first contact
The role of social networking in the world today cannot be appreciated enough. By the networks and their available applications, we communicate our ideas, stay informed, market our merchandise, share our photos, present our opinions, and absorb enormous amounts of knowledge, some so trifling we are confused as to why we ever needed it. We stay connected with friends, and we find friends we have lost touch with by way of a few key word searches. Without social networking, I would never have found Samantha Futerman.
There is an upside and a downside to the connectedness on the Internet. As great as it is to communicate with people all over the world, we get overly accustomed to instant gratification. We become used to the immediacy of it all. Write a blog and get instant feedback. Post a tweet and watch it get retweeted again and again. Post something on Facebook and see how many friends “like” it in a matter of minutes. After I sent my message to Samantha saying we might be twins, the most important message I had ever sent in my life,I expected an instant response. Instead, I found myself waiting . . . and waiting . . . and waiting.
In anxious anticipation of Samantha’s reply, I knew I wanted the moral support of my friends. Kelsang offered to have a “waiting for contact” pizza party at his flat, and I gladly accepted his invitation. Kelsang and his flat mates, and our friends Rafa, Angel, and Marta were the ideal distractions. Takeaway pizzas from Pizza Hut sounded good to me. Everybody in the room was almost as excited as I was. We all kept refreshing our Twitters and Facebooks, making sure we didn’t miss anything that might come in, even for a minute. To keep the waiting fun, we drank lots of wine, ate our pizza, and spent the time laughing and joking. But the levity didn’t calm me down. I was a bundle of nerves.
The more time that passed without any response from Samantha, the more my doubts and insecurities started to surface. Everybody else was still hyped up,