Seeing You Read Online Free Page B

never stop laughing, and all the while Wade looked down at me with his mouth hanging open in shock. Which just made me bellow more as he was catching mouthfuls of rainwater like that.
    Just as Wade was starting to look really concerned, the laughter just dried up, and I became aware that we were out in a thunderstorm and it was pouring, and I hadn’t bothered with a shirt. I wouldn’t be surprised if my nipples were little blue pebbles, and I grinned at the weird thought.
    That must have been the final straw, because Wade grabbed my chin and forced me to meet his gaze. “Are you fucking crazy?”
    I considered this. “Probably. But if I’m crazy for lying here in the mud and laughing in the rain, aren’t you crazy for watching me do it?”
    Wade grinned and said, “Probably.” The grin caught me off guard. It had been so long since I had seen it, making him look unexpectedly boyish despite the years carved into his face. I looked at that grin and the momentarily happy look in his eyes, and I couldn’t breathe.
    As if he was deflating, the look faded from his face and he said, “Why did you hit me?”
    “Because I couldn’t stand it one more minute. Not one more fucking second.”
    “Stand what?”
    “Watching you give up.”
    “I have not.” But he said it quietly, and I knew he didn’t even believe himself.
    “You have . What do you think Simon would say?” I winced as I said this, hating myself for it, and Wade looked like I had punched him again.
    “I—”
    “ Simon died. Not you. I want you to stop acting like it was you that died on that highway.”
    “How do you know it wasn’t?”
    That physically hurt. “Because that’s bullshit. I watched my brother die in my arms, okay? I watched and for a while, I wish I had, too. You’re not the only one who lost something that day, and I’m sick of watching you wish you could join him when the rest of us are doing the best we can to pick up the pieces.”
    Wade snarled back at me, “Why do you care now? You just left. Just packed your bags and left like I was nothing to you. Like this place was nothing to you.”
    That left me momentarily speechless. “I… Wade.” I wasn’t sure what to say. I tried again. “I just… I was trying to adjust to a world without my brother in it, and every time I looked at you I kept waiting for you to get angry that I walked away from the crash and Simon didn’t. I just couldn’t stay for that.” I told myself that the burning in my eyes was from the mud and rain.
    Wade looked shocked. “You thought that? I… Never.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, not that it did any good. “Christ, I thought a million times that it shouldn’t have been Simon. But I never once thought it should have been you instead.”
    I hoped Wade would think it was only rain leaking around my eyes. “I… Thank you. Didn’t want to think of you hating me.”
    “No.” Wade was looking down at me, and I was about to ask him to get off me because I could feel my teeth getting ready to chatter, when he let out this weird choking sound. Then he said, “What do you want from me, Dylan?”
    I didn’t even have to think about the answer, even if this was the oddest time and place to have this out. “I want you to look around. I want you to start thinking about what you had with Simon instead of just what you lost. I want you to see that you’re about to lose this place if you don’t fight for it. I want you to see that old man in the bunkhouse who loves you as much as your father did, who is sick and worried about you, about keeping this ranch going. I want you to see that Erin and Mike love you and miss you, and she has two girls who cried for Uncle Wade the other night when I showed up at dinner alone. They feel like they lost all of us at one time. I want you to see that Simon would hate to see you living like this.” I paused for breath, hesitating, knowing he deserved my apology. “I want you to see me, see that I’m