Seeds of Hate Read Online Free Page B

didn't. Would he be better off? Would he miss her? Would she miss him?
    How much is our presence truly wanted by those around us?

Chapter 6
    Two Weeks Later
    (Javier)

    My mother didn't have to be awake for a few more hours, but I always said goodbye. The carpet muffled the sound of my steps as I walked to the edge of her bed. She looked older than she was, but life had a way of speeding up the process. Beautiful still, but worn. I kissed her softly and pulled her blanket up. She couldn't hear, but I knew she was listening.
    "Good morning and good night. I love you," I whispered.
    I left her to sleep and headed to school. There was a note, a pink one, stuck to my bag.
    "I'm sorry. I love you. Forgive me. - Mom"
    I knew she wouldn't forget, but I thought I had made it clear. It wasn't her fault. It was mine. I wondered how school would be today. Considering my freak out on the first day, I knew Nathan would remember. He may not know the whole story, but he had written the first half.

    ***

    I found Izzy sitting against our wall, the red brick highlighting his pale face and dark features. He was holding two coffees and a greasy bag. I kicked his shoe.
    He looked up, frustrated and sad. "Are you ready to talk?"
    "About?"
    "The first day of school. You ran without a word. And haven't explained it to me since."
    I looked at the coffee and raised an eyebrow—one of them had to be for me. He handed it over along with the bag.
    "Thanks," I said and took a seat beside him.
    He pointed down at my feet. "You're still wearing slippers," he said.
    I could tell he was joking, but also curious. I didn't keep secrets from Izzy, but it also took me a while to talk.
    "What happened? You had me totally freaked. Plus, I didn't think you'd show today. You know, considering."
    "Yes, I'm aware," I said, pulling out my mom's pink note and handing it to him.
    Izzy's eyes scanned the paper. "Oh. Well, at least she apologized. That's nice. Right?"
    "She doesn't have a reason to apologize. It wasn't her fault. We've been through this." My words were a mixed combination of truth and unwanted martyrdom. I was selfish in my pain and didn't want to share it with her. It wasn't her fault.
    It was mine.
    Mine.
    "Well, regardless, she's changed and for the better. She even remembered today. It may not be your birthday necessarily, but she's remembering important events. Small victories."
    Izzy took his coffee cup and clanked it against mine as if today was something worth celebrating. I played along, even though I could still smell the fresh asphalt from that night as if the tar was poured yesterday. It made me choke.
    "I got locked inside." I stared out, the herd of students flocking toward their individual grazing pastures.
    "The bathroom? Again? How is that even possible?" Izzy's voice raised with each additional question. The coincidence of it all wasn't lost on me.
    "I honestly think it was a simple mistake. No one planned it or set me up. The janitor talked with me briefly last week and apologized. Apparently, he was just locking up earlier than usual. He had someplace to be."
    Izzy's fingers combed through the curls on top of his head. "The chances of that happening are like, I don't know, impossible?"
    "I know. I thought the same thing."
    "What were you doing in there to begin with?" Izzy asked.
    My eyes squeezed shut as I accessed the memory and my reasoning.
    "Well, considering today was drawing near, I thought the best way to help me get over my fear was to be in the dark, in that same room again. I had the intention of exiting though. I didn't think the door would be locked."
    "So you flipped," he replied.
    "I flipped."
    "I see." Izzy continued to sip his coffee, calm and controlled.
    "What did everyone say after? Was it bad?" I asked.
    "Define bad," he replied.
    I finished my coffee, pulled my slippers up against my heel and stood. I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch in a locker. I wanted to tell Nathan—to his face—the specifics of what I