Santa Viking Read Online Free Page A

supple.
’Twas she who lured Adam with that sinful apple.
Once men surrender, the women wander.
Lots more better men, o’er yonder.
With swaying hips, they jiggle a breast.
Make a man think that he is the best.
    Once they have them, meek and mild,
Off they go in pursuit of men more wild.
Here is the moral of this ode:
Never let a woman turn you into a pet toad.
    Despite the cheers of the crowd, he knew immediately that his poem was a mistake. He never should have underestimated the wiliness of a thwarted woman.
    Katherine, now up at the head table, whispered in Alinor’s ear.
    Alinor grinned like a cat that had swallowed all the cream and stood. “Great news! Katherine tells me that she has a talent for poems, too.”
    The crowd burst into enthusiastic applause, encouraging her to put aside shyness and share her talent with them. Hah! This woman had not been shy a day of her life.
    Katherine stood and glanced his way, batting her eyelashes as if in apology.
    For what?
    He soon found out.
Men, men, men!
When will they learn?
Women know what they do when out of sight.
They spit, they swear, they belch,
They gamble, lie, and break wind,
They swive, swive, swive.
And all the while, the miscreants
Leave wives and sweetlings at home.
Weeping with loneliness, sad of heart.
Hah!
Hear me well, all you errant men.
Methinks you would be surprised to learn
What the mice are doing whilst the cat is away.
    The men in the hall seemed stunned into silence, but the ladies were hooting and cheering with glee.
    A red-faced Bolthor looked at Katherine with new eyes, and began to ponder, Just how ironclad is my vow?
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder  . . .
    “He is the one,” Katherine declared.
    “Are you sure?” Alinor asked.
    “There are so many men to choose from,” Eadyth pointed out. “The wisest course would be to take your time and meet them all.”
    “Bolthor is the one I want,” Katherine insisted.
    “Some would say his skaldic skills make him an object of humor, not desire,” Alinor pointed out in a kindly fashion. “Do his poems not bother you?”
    Katherine frowned. “Why would they?”
    “To put it plainly, they stink.”
    A gasp was Katherine’s answer to that remark. “Surely you jest. His poems are wonderful. ’Tis one of the things I like best about him.”
    Alinor and Eadyth exchanged looks of surprise.
    “And what are the other things you like about him?” Eadyth inquired.
    “He is good with children.”
    “Ahhhh,” both Alinor and Eadyth said, acknowledging that fondness for children was a great attribute for a husband, especially when the children were not his.
    “And what else?” Alinor prodded.
    “There is a sorrow deep inside him that calls to my woman sympathies.” Katherine placed a hand over her heart, just thinking about it.
    “There is?” Alinor’s eyebrows were raised with disbelief. “Other than his recent bout of verse mood blockage, I have rarely seen Bolthor sad of spirit.”
    “Oh, ’tis there, of that I am certain. No doubt due to the tragic death of his wife and daughters.”
    “ What ?” Alinor and Eadyth exclaimed as one.
    “In all the years I have known Bolthor, ne’er have I met a wife or daughter, or heard mention of such,” Alinor mused.
    “’Twas a long, long time ago, and apparently their manner of death was soul searing.”
    “Hmmm.” Eadyth put a fingertip to her mouth in contemplation. “It makes sense, though. ’Tis not normal for a Viking man to go unwed for so long.”
    “Do not mention it to anyone,” Katherine cautioned. “If he has kept it secret, he must not want others to know.”
    “And yet he told you,” Alinor said, also with a forefinger tapping her closed lips.
    “Of course, I am no longer a young woman, and I now know that appearance is the least important attribute for a husband, but, by the saints! The man is bone-melting handsome.” Katherine nigh swooned just picturing Bolthor in her mind.
    “Good Lord!” Alinor