Ruin Me Read Online Free Page B

right,” he says. “It was hard, when you were gone. Not knowing what was happening. But I lived through it and that feels all right.”
    I laugh, a goofy, dorky laugh. “You are so level-headed it, like, breaks my brain.”
    “I’m trying, anyhow.”
    “We decided to meet up on Friday,” I say, plunging onward. “Is that cool?”
    Jay blinks and nods and his face is impossible to read. It kills me that the thing I want so badly is hurting him. Not enough to give it up, though, I hear you saying.
    “We should set some ground rules,” I offer. “Or you should. About what you’re comfortable with happening.”
    “Everything but,” he says, clearly having given this some thought already. “Just not sex. Intercourse, I mean. I want that to be for us, only.”
    “Fine with me.” As if I’m in a position to be anything aside from grateful.
    He nods, relieved, I think. Then his brows bunch and a breath sputters through his lips.
    “What?”
    “This is going to sound really weird,” he says.
    I laugh. “The bar’s been set pretty high lately, but go on, what’s weird?”
    “When you were gone, and I was trying not to think about what you were doing…”
    “Yeah?” I ask.
    “It sort of…”
    Made you die a little inside? Made you go shopping for guns online? Made you hate me, since it probably should?
    “It sort of turned my crank,” Jay says.
    “Oh.” My mouth freezes in its little round shape.
    He laughs, seeming instantly relaxed. “Yeah, it kind of turned me on.”
    “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”
    “Me neither,” he says.
    “What about it?”
    “I dunno… The idea of you with some other guy. Some guy wanting you and having to come to me to get permission.”
    “Well, that’s a zillion times better than you feeling left out or insecure,” I say.
    “Yeah. I bet that makes me some kind of Neanderthal pimp-wannabe sexist man-pig.”
    “Beats cuckold,” I offer.
    “Yeah.”
    We sit for a while not saying anything, contemplating Jay’s revelation as we watch the Pistons play the Clippers with no sound.
    I finally turn to him. “Do you want to have sex?”
    “God, yeah.”
    I grin. I’d been worried about that, afraid the next time we’d have sex it’d be a disaster, Jay understandably paranoid that I wasn’t thinking about him.
    He tosses aside his magazine and pillow and pulls me onto his lap. I straddle him and we kiss, hard and ferocious. His hands cup my ass, tugging me close and I lock my thighs around his hips, feeling his excitement. I peel my sweater and shirt off, feel his hands on my breasts, squeezing and kneading. I unhook my bra and he wrestles it away, mouth hungry.
    “Jay.”
    His hips pump, stroking his arousal against mine. I can feel in his touch that he wants to be in charge. He gets this way sometimes and it’s fine by me. I like when he’s all possessive and rough. It usually means I’m naked and he’s dressed, as if I’m the vulnerable one being taken advantage of.
    “Get your clothes off,” he mutters against my neck.
    I slide off his lap and drop my pants, and my strategically homeliest underwear, and kick them away. He’s got his pajama bottoms on so he just pushes them down to free his erection and he strokes himself, studying me. I wait for permission, eyes on his hand.
    He nods, slow and thoughtful, approving. “Fuck me.”
    I straddle him again, running my lips up and down his cock a few times.
    “Yeah.” His hands guide my hips, making the thrusts aggressive.
    “I want it,” I say.
    “What do you want?”
    “Your cock.” I stare him dead in the eyes. I love when he looks this way, all flushed and mean. His lips are parted and his hazel eyes look green tonight and a little crazy. Horny Jay is worlds different from regular Jay. He’s like a secret only I get to enjoy. I know—my hypocrisy is staggering.
    I angle my hips back as he reaches down and guides his head to my pussy. I sink down, slow, and his moan is harsh, giving me a