through my body, dialing up my shredded nerves and making me all the more aware of him. Heat radiated from him, drawing me in even as I tried to stay away. He might have lied to me, but the safety I always found in his arms was a surer truth than any I’d ever known. It was his own screwed up way of loving me. That made it even harder to maintain the space between us, especially when it was his solace I longed for.
His shoulders slanted and he inclined his head until the warmth of his breath skimmed across my neck. I breathed in his scent—spice and heat, earth and fire—my eyes shutting as his hand closed over my knee and snaked under my skirt. His fingers drifted up teasingly as he traced a path across the sensitive flesh of my thigh.
“What I do is for your protection, poppet. Not only from anyone who might wish to harm you, but also from yourself.” With his free hand, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and then tipped my chin up. My eyelids fluttered open expectantly, knowing exactly what he wanted from me—what he demanded. Our faces were a fraction of an inch apart, close enough to kiss. “Fear is your enemy. It controls you when you let it, and then you try too hard to take control back.”
So he controlled fear for me. He protected me from myself. Or, at least, he controlled what I knew. Sometimes I suspected he still wanted me to fear him. He’d tried hard to sabotage our relationship early on. I swallowed and held his gaze unwaveringly even as the tips of his fingers brushed across the lace of my panties. I was soaked through, wildly turned on despite my confusion, and his eyelids hooded as he felt my wetness.
“Are you ready to order?”
My own dreamy eyes popped open when I realized we’d been joined by the waiter, but Alexander’s face remained impassive as he looked over the menu, his hand staying, decidedly, in place between my legs.
“I’d like the lamb shank and the fennel salad,” he answered smoothly as he pushed the lace to the side and thrust a finger past my folds. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to keep a moan of pleasure from spilling out as he continued with his order. No one would guess from his casual demeanor that he was expertly fucking me with his hand under the table.
“And for mademoiselle?” The waiter shifted his attention to me.
I felt heat rise to my cheeks. I didn’t dare look up. I didn’t dare move. If I opened my mouth now, I wouldn’t be able to keep up the pretense of normalcy. I clung to my last thread of self-restraint, hanging in an ecstatic limbo. The thought of being caught—the mere idea that the stranger in front of me might suspect what was happening—held me in check while heightening every brush. Every caress.
“She’ll have the same,” Alexander said, coming to my rescue, his thumb massaging a teasing circle over my aching clit. He held out the menu, and as the waiter accepted, Alexander slipped two fingers inside me. I forced a polite, if strained, smile onto my face as the waiter took his leave. As soon as he was gone, I pressed my face into Alexander’s broad shoulder, biting into the bone and muscle in an attempt to control my pleasure.
“This is how it will be with us,” he spoke huskily, his voice rich with restrained lust. “Whatever I ask of you, whatever I assume is best for you, you will comply. I live for two things, Clara, to give you pleasure and to protect you. I won’t restrain myself in either regard. Do you understand that? Nod, poppet.”
His fingers curled inside me, massaging my g-spot. It was impossible to find my voice, but I could nod.
And I did.
My body belonged to him.
I belonged to him.
“And now you will come for me,” he commanded in a whisper. “I want to feel your teeth in my skin as you try not to scream. Leave your mark on me as I claim you right here in front of all of these people.”
My mouth clamped down to stifle the rapturous sob his dominance provoked within me. I couldn’t