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course not, but I did go against my will, in a way.”
    Darrios stopped and looked at me, smiling. I found that very irritating.
    “What?” I demanded.
    “I’m just waiting to hear the rest of this.”
    “There is no rest of it,” I snapped, walking past Darrios and taking the lead.
    He loped up next to me. I sighed.
    “We moved there because my boyfriend, Gregg, had a job offer that was too good to pass up. It was still in Missouri, just a much smaller town. The plan was to stay for a couple of years then go back to St. Louis.”
    I hesitated sharing anything more because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing the probable demise of my relationship, and truthfully, I didn’t want to think about it either.
    A snuffling noise caught my attention. I immediately recalled Darrios saying if those things came after us we’d hear them. I froze. Darrios stopped, turned, and cocked his head.
    “Maggie, why—”
    “Ssshhh! Listen,” I hissed as I noticed the bush up ahead wavering and the leaves quivering. I pointed, rooted where I stood, halted by my fear.
    Darrios turned to where I pointed. He started to say something when a large animal charged out from behind the shrubbery. It had the face of a cat, except with a pig-like snout. Large, floppy ears adorned its head and thick, coarse hair covered its bulky body, stubby legs, and feet. I screamed as it rammed into Darrios, knocking him to the ground.
    “Tell me what to do!” I shrieked, my voice laced with panic.
    “Maggie, it’s okay,” Darrios hollered, laughing.
    Confusion clouded my brain for a second as the strange pig-cat creature butted him with its nose in between licking his face and grunting.
    “This one’s harmless, Maggie. He’s friendly.”
    It took a minute for me to comprehend what Darrios was saying, then several more minutes for my breathing to get back to normal. Darrios scratched the animal’s ears and patted its head.
    “Hey Rufus, how’s it hangin’?”
    Rufus rolled over on his back and expelled gas.
    Darrios chuckled, turning his eyes to me. “This is Rufus, Maggie. He’s a draggle.”
    I narrowed my eyes, blinking them a couple times. I shook my head just a little and hunched my shoulders.
    “A draggle is kind of like a big over-affectionate dog, only with less manners and less self-control.” He rubbed noses with Rufus. “Huh, buddy, isn’t that right, Rufus? Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?”
    I rolled my eyes. “Are you freakin’ kidding me?” I asked, even more shrieky-ish than before. “The big bad monster hunter talks baby talk to cat-pi...I mean to draggles?”
    “No, not all of them.” He rubbed Rufus’ head with both hands. “Just my buddy, Rufus,” he gushed, in extreme baby talk. “Huh, buddy, who’s my buddy?”
    Rufus slurped all over his face. I breathed deeply...twice.
    “Really? Murderous monsters are waiting in the wings to torture us and eat us, and you want to play fetch with this...cartoon animal?”
    Darrios frowned, cupping Rufus’ face in his hands. He said, still clinging to the oh-so-nauseating baby talk, “Don’t listen, buddy. She’s just grumpy.”
    Rufus gave me an almost whimsical look, and then he made a coughing-like noise. I glared at him. He cocked his head to the side and let go of more gas.
    “Maggie, when draggles are near, the monsters won’t come around. We want to encourage them to stay, not drive them away. C’mon, he’s really very sweet. You’ll like him.”
    “You had me at ‘keeping the monsters away.’ C’mere, Rufus,” I said sans baby talk.
    Without the slightest bit of hesitation, Rufus was up and on me. The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back and literally unable to breathe, courtesy of the high-speed, dog-like bath my mouth and nostrils were getting.
    “Awww, look he likes you,” Darrios said.
    I struggled to get up and finally, just before I suffocated, I’m sure, Rufus retracted his frogish tongue. He trotted back to Darrios, sat down at