Retribution Read Online Free Page A

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    D ominic sat with me, saying
little but comforting me with his presence, until it was time for
supper. We were both disturbed by the confrontation with our
hostess. We need fear no opinion but that of the Viceroy, ‘Graven
Assembly, or the Sibyl of a seminary, and Lucretia Ladakh could
claim none of this authority. Yet we sat, I propped up on pillows
in the bed, Dominic in the hard chair beside me, like two unruly
Christian novices awaiting the Abbot’s verdict.
    When supper was brought I was too upset to
eat. Dominic sampled the meal off my tray, tempting me occasionally
by holding a few choice bits to my lips. Only to please him, I
accepted the juicy morsels, keeping his hand at my mouth while I
licked and sucked his fingers. In a short time his face was
flushed, his chest heaving with deep breaths, but he said nothing,
kept his thoughts neutral. He suspected I was not yet strong enough
for lovemaking, would not give in to his desire, no matter how
suggestive my actions.
    The scene with Lucretia had had a strange
effect on me. It had produced another resurrection, of all my
original feelings of love for Dominic, my recognition of him as the
only true companion for me. Seeing him attacked, for acts and
thoughts I shared, made me want to support him, to behave as his
wife in every way. I had been touched by Dominic’s emphasis of my
status before Lucretia, his forceful acknowledgment of the equal
partnership of our marriage and my influence over his decisions.
His one slip, with Lady Melanie, I resolved to relegate to the
waste pile of my memory as soon as I could purge it from my active
mind.
    I tried to remember the last time we had made
love. It must be over a month ago, I thought with surprise. A
whole month! No wonder Dominic resented Val and his demands. No
wonder he had seized the opportunity for a reunion with Lady
Melanie.
    If I had been sick, or if Dominic had been
away from home, there would be some excuse. But I had been
perfectly well, and Dominic and I had gone together to visit Stefan
and Drusilla. In their small household, our entire family—Dominic
and Niall, the children and I—had been given one room, like any
other family. Because we are ‘Graven it was the largest room, with
two beds. Some of the less important guests and the servants had to
sleep in bedrolls on the floor in the great hall. In this crowded
setting, I had felt too self-conscious for intimacy with Dominic,
even for mental lovemaking, although Dominic and Niall had managed
a few almost silent sessions, only the rapid breathing and the
shaking of their bed giving them away.
    The problem was not due solely to our visit;
in Aranyi Fortress, of course, we had no such crowding. But rich or
poor, a new baby sleeps with its mother. With Jana, the first
child, Dominic and I had handled things in the usual way. At first
she stayed in my bed; Dominic made love to me with the infant at my
side. Later, when she was old enough that I felt uncomfortable, I
would leave her in my room while I went with Dominic to the
Margrave’s bedroom next door, although Dominic as often as not
retrieved her afterwards to sleep the rest of the night with
us.
    Weaning marks the beginning of the journey
from infancy to childhood. Once Jana no longer nursed, I tried
taking her to the nursery and Isobel at bedtime. Even when Dominic
spent the night with Stefan, I took Jana to the nursery, not
wanting her to think it was only Dominic’s desire for me that was
forcing her out of her favorite sleeping place. Sometimes Jana
accepted the change, sometimes she fought like a tiger, would howl
and rage. But she had always welcomed the presence of her papa in
my bed, only resented her own banishment.
    Val was different. Even at a few months old,
when Dominic entered my bed, kissed me or touched me to arousal
with his long fingers, Val would wake up, cry and complain. We had
tried all the same things that had worked with Jana—leaving him in
my room or taking him to the