Reckless Mind Read Online Free Page A

trying to deal with my past and put it behind me.
    The bell jingling on the door was unexpected, and I jumped and almost fell out of the chair. Looking at the clock, there was only fifteen minutes left in my shift. I called out the greeting I was told to use whenever anyone came into the store, and went back to marking things off my closing check list I had Jessica leave for me so I wouldn't forget anything.
    “Hey, Kahlen?” His voice was smooth as silk, pouring over me like sweet honey, rendering me immobile for a few seconds. I was nervous to turn around, to see who my body already knew was attached to the voice. “I'm...I'm...” He sighed in frustration. I needed to write down the last number of some register report I was supposed to run at the end of the night before I could turn around. “Are you even listening to me?” He snapped at the same time I turned around.
    Brandon stood there glaring at me.
    He was all gorgeous eyes and messy, almost black hair. Tattoos marked some of the tanned skin exposed on his arms, which only made me look him up and down in greater detail. Brandon was tall and lean, definitely muscular, just not body builder muscular.
    Landing his hands on the counter loudly, they were in a fist, he leaned in closer to my face. All I wanted to do was back away, but I didn't want him knowing I had issues with people getting close to me even though I clearly, very clearly , did. “I'm not used to being ignored, Kahlen.” His eyes looked over my body in such a way, it felt like a caress. “You going to pay attention to me now?” He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip waiting for my response.
    I took in a deep breath, exhaled and decided I could have this conversation. There was no way of moving forward if I kept myself stuck in the past. “I'm still deciding.” My words were short, and I turned back around to write the last bit of information on the closing sheet. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Brandon rounding the counter, before I registered what he was doing he stood so close to my left side I could smell him, no counter as a barrier any longer.
    And for the record, he smelled amazing. Like close your eyes, lean into a stranger, inhale deeply, kind of amazing. Thankfully I refrained from actually doing that.
    Grabbing the arm of my chair, he swiveled it toward him. His hands landed on either side of my thighs on the seat stopping the movement of the chair, and putting his face so close to mine I couldn't breathe. I didn't want my mind to go right now, but I felt myself slipping away. Trying so hard to block it out, I didn't want the flashbacks, my eyes closed fast and hard. As my breathing picked up, my chest felt like a ton of bricks sat on it.
    How could I ever have a normal life if every time anyone got close to touching me, or I saw something to remind me, or someone says something to trigger me, my past just pulled me under. It's like a heavy fog settled over my mind. I didn't want to be there in that mindset, didn't want my mind to be able to push the flashbacks on me, but it still happened.
    I felt the weight of one hand leave the seat, then that warm hand touched the skin of my arm snapping me back to reality. I jerked away from him so fast I hit my hand on the counter harder than I wanted to admit, and it immediately started throbbing. Brandon moved to take hold of my hand, probably just to look at it, but I jerked away again.
    This isn't back at home. He won't do anything to me.
    Shaking my head I put my uninjured hand out in his direction letting him know I didn't want him to come any closer to me. Tears filled my eyes. Why did anything that could possibly be good have to be ruined by me? They fucked me up so much I couldn't even let him be within a foot of me without freaking out and smashing my hand. I would never be whole, never be okay or good enough to be with someone like Brandon. I'd lose Emma as a friend too because she is his sister.
    Deep down I knew who I was. I was