Queen of Trial and Sorrow Read Online Free Page B

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    “Certainly.  If you want to bed him, why not?  Think of what it would mean to your family.” She straightened and turned to me, a bright lily in her hand.  “Think of all the favors that would come our way.  Your father would be advanced and honors would trickle down to your brothers.  Titled bachelors would queue up to wed your sisters, dowry or no dowry.”
    “But what of me?  I would be nothing but a whore, adored one day and cast off the next.”
    She gave a characteristic shrug.  “Perhaps.  But if you were clever, and you are clever, you could secure your future.  Think about never being in want again.  Think about your sons.  You could obtain lands for them that would make the loss of Astley and Bradgate negligible.”
    The king had asked his good friend Lord Hastings, who was my overlord in Leicestershire, to look into that matter, and he had come to the conclusion that Lady Ferrers had the right of it.  I was at a severe disadvantage because my former mother-in-law was now wed to Sir John Bourchier who was first cousin to the king through his father’s sister.  I was furious and disappointed and not at all certain that Lord Hastings had rendered an impartial decision.  It was the beginning of a lifelong bias against him.
    On the other hand, I was pleased that the king had not used the fact that I wanted something from him as a weapon of seduction. 
      “And think what a handsome young man he is, and how pleasant nights in his bed would be.”  Mother gave a voluptuous chuckle.  “I envy you!  Carpe deum, Bess!  Seize the day!”  Which is what she had done.
    My mother was born Jacquetta of Luxemburg, sister to the present count of St. Pol.  As a young girl she had wed the Duke of Bedford, brother to Henry V.  Until the coming of Margaret of Anjou she was the first lady of the realm.  After Bedford’s death she wed my father, Sir Richard Wydeville, who had been the duke’s chamberlain, a person far beneath her in rank.  Furthermore, as a royal lady, she was not free to marry where she wished; it was for the king and council to bestow her hand.  The marriage created a huge scandal, but it was done and nothing could undo it.  My father was imprisoned for a time and only released when the council levied a huge fine against them.  In order to pay it my mother had to sell some of her dower lands.  What was worse was that they were ostracized and castigated.  They – and to a lesser extent, we their children – were subjected to sniggers, slights and overt insults.  Our society does not look kindly upon those who rise above their station. 
    For many years we were social outcasts, and then very slowly we came up out of the mire.  My father was given small commissions and ennobled as Lord Rivers to make him a more fitting spouse for my mother, who always styled herself the Dowager Duchess of Bedford.  My mother became a close friend of Queen Margaret, and finally, when I was chosen as one of her ladies-in-waiting, we began to believe that the Wydevilles were on the rise again and the hard years were behind us.
    We are all shaped by our experiences.  So, I say in truth that while my refusal of the king was due in part to an inherent pride that would not permit me to become the mistress of any man, it was also due in large part to the experiences of youth.  Over the years my parents had worked patiently and wisely to restore the family’s honor.  How could I, the eldest child, bring disgrace upon my house?  I could not.  And then there was Anthony.  My brother was the most thoroughly decent and honorable man I had ever known.  To be the brother of a light woman would have besmirched him, would have reduced him even in his own eyes. 
    But if not his mistress, what then?
     
    ……….
     
    A letter came from Anthony.  Though I have lost much, I still have it in my possession.
    The fighting centers on three Northumbrian castles.  Neither side seems to be able to hold