Push & Pull Read Online Free Page A

in the mirror every day. I wondered if he felt as hollow
inside as I did at times.
    “What are you doing tonight?” He
asked, dodging his gaze towards his watch.
    “Why?”
    “Go to dinner with me.”
    My mind hesitated before the mouth
spoke. No. My lips had already formed the word but my head held fast to it. I
twisted my jaw back and forth, trying to free myself but I was suspended in
time.
    “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I
managed. Not a no, but certainly not a yes. The man had already slipped a
business card in my pocket and lured me to his apartment once. How I thought he
would stop at a maybe is beyond me. Every time I tried to push him away he
pulled me back in.
    “See you at 7? I’ll pick you up,” he
offered.
    “You don’t even know where I live,” I
reminded him as I finished the last leg of scotch. Before I could even put the
glass down he’d already extended his pen.
    “Do you trust me?”

5
     
    The clock edged towards seven and I
moved around my apartment sitting on practically every piece of furniture. It
was all I could do to calm myself. One moment complete ease would cycle over me
before reality drowned it out. Five minutes and he would be here. Five more
minutes to wonder if this is what I wanted. I felt sick. Before the incident in
Liam’s apartment it had been nearly a year since I’d been with a man, much less
even had a connection with one. I had become consumed in my career in the most
unhealthy sense. Women of my stature were married to their careers, working
long hours and chasing their dreams. I was chasing men I had no intention of
catching.
    A sudden knock sounded on the door
and I gathered myself. Smoothing my hands over the hem of my little black
dress, I opened it.
    “You’re overdressed,” Liam grinned,
handing me a bottle of wine. I took it from him trying not to seem too
surprised.
    “And you’re in pajamas. Did you drive
here like that?” I asked giving him the once over. His flannel bottoms slouched
casually on his hips and his gray v-neck pulled against his chest. I couldn’t
help but wonder if he was drunk.
    “Yes ma’am.” He gave a brief twirl
before winking, “Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”
    “I’m confused, really. If this is
your way of staying the night, it’s not working.” My arms folded defensively
across my chest as I attempted to look serious. I was, but a part of me was
laughing at this ridiculous display. I rested the wine on the table, noting it
was a Chateau Lafluer. Expensive.
    “It’s not. I just wanted to try
something different,” he said, drawing my hand into his. For some reason the
gesture made my stomach cartwheel, as if he’d never touched me before. This
seemed more intimate. Sincere. I pushed the thought out of my mind but allowed
him to linger.
    “Define different.”
    “Dinner and a movie?” he smiled.
    “That’s not different.”
    “It is with me.” I wasn’t sure I followed
until he pulled out his phone and started dialing. Several moments later he
hung up and Thai takeout was on the way. “Don’t you hate first dates?” he
asked. Truth be told, it had been a while since I’d been on one. And even then
the ones I’d engaged in were for business purposes. “You dress up, trying to
impress the other person, and for what?”
    “Love.” The word seemed foreign and
rushed as it plummeted from my mouth.
    “How often does it become that
though?” he pressed, drawing closer to me. The warmth of his breath spread
across my neck causing me to shiver. I shrugged, conceding his point.
    “This wine looks expensive,” I said,
trying to change the subject. I grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and began
to pour. As I handed him a glass he gave an appreciative nod.
    “You need to change into something
more comfortable or I’ll look like an ass.”
    “You already do,” I smiled, clinking
my glass against his before heading into the bedroom. Dammit . What was I
going to wear? Living alone and