Billy’s mom first, and then I’ll take you back to the hotel.”
My breath…I couldn’t catch my breath. “You want me to talk to…Billy’s mom?”
Anthony nodded.
“Not a bad idea, Kyle,” Garin said from behind me. “I’m sure she’d like to see you since you never said good-bye to her either.”
I turned around, my eyes finding his. The spark of happiness that had shot through my limbs earlier quickly turned to guilt.
I squeezed the cup between my fingers and palm, so I wouldn’t drop it. “Hi, Garin.”
He broke contact to look at my brother. “Anthony,” Garin said. The two of them shook hands. “It’s been a while.”
“It has been,” Anthony agreed. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
He didn’t?
It was so strange to be standing in this circle. Anthony, almost identical to the person he was twelve years ago. Garin and me, nothing like the shells we once were. There were so many secrets between the three of us now.
“The old gang back together…how sweet,” Anthony said.
The sarcasm was so thick in his voice. It made me shiver.
Why the hell would he say that? Now? When Billy sat in a coffin in the other room?
It felt like Anthony’s hand had just torn at the hole that was already gaping in the middle of my chest. And, when I took a breath, it felt like he ripped it open even further.
“A funeral isn’t the kind of reunion I had in mind,” I said.
“Oh no?” Garin said. “I’m surprised to hear you even talk about a reunion.”
Now that I was standing so close to him, I could finally see the pain in his eyes. The anger. The coldness. There were so many layers to it, and they’d all been caused by me.
“Saw your sister the other day,” Anthony said. When he coughed, I could smell the weed on his breath. “Her kid’s real cute.”
I wasn’t surprised Anthony hadn’t told me he had run into Garin’s sister, Gina. He never talked about Garin or Billy to me.
But I was surprised to hear that Gina had a child. She was the same age as Paulie and Anthony. The three of them had been as close as the three of us. And Gina was into everything they were—hustling, drugs, and all the violence that went along with that lifestyle. The last I’d heard a few years ago was that she was in pretty rough shape and had been admitted to a rehab center in California.
“She had a baby?” I asked.
“She adopted one.”
Garin’s teeth weren’t gritted, but they may as well have been. The pull of his lips, the look in his eyes, the tone of his voice all told me he didn’t want to discuss Gina or her daughter. He wanted to say something to me, and I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be pretty.
I didn’t deserve pretty.
I knew this was going to get me in trouble, but I didn’t care. “Do you want to talk?” I asked Garin.
“Not here.”
“Well, I’m—”
“Not here, Kyle. We’ll go to a bar or something.”
I was afraid of what he would ask, what he would want to know, but I owed him this. Even though I couldn’t tell him the truth, I owed him at least something.
I tried to calm the emotion in my chest as I looked over at my brother. “Are you going to come with us?”
His phone beeped, and he pulled it out of his pocket. “Fuck,” he said, reading the screen. “Something happened with work, and I have to go take care of it.” He glanced between Garin and me. “I’ll pick you up from the bar later.”
“I’ll give her a ride,” Garin said.
“Then, I’ll pick you up at the hotel in the morning and take you to the airport.”
“I have to be at the airport by six. I’ll just take a taxi.”
I’d spent more than enough time with my brother today. But I’d be seeing him again on the first when he made his monthly drive to Florida. He’d stay at my house for about twenty minutes, checking things out, leaving what he needed to, and then heading to my mom’s. She now lived on the other side of Tampa, and that was where he would sleep until he