imagined my first evening with my dog.
When Dad goes out with his gun I sit outside with her until late, just as I used to with Queenie, stroking her and telling her not to worry, that Iâll sort it out. But when I leave she starts to howl and scratch again.
âMum,â I plead, despite knowing that it is a waste of time, â please let me bring Princess indoors.â
Mumâs watching telly, and for once Jack and Patrick are both asleep. She doesnât even look in my direction.
âYou must do as your dad tells you,â she says.
I wait until Dad comes home and everyoneâs in bed, and I creep out to the shed and bring Princess in anyway. Itâs after midnight, but sheâs waiting for me in the dark. She comes in to the house and climbs the stairs so quietly itâs as if she knows whatâs going on. She lies on my bed as silent as a mouse. I feel her comforting weight on my feet and know that sheâs going to be the best thing in my life. And if they wonât let me keep her indoors, Iâll leave home.
One good thing about my family is that, because thereâs always so much chaos, itâs easy to go unnoticed. I come downstairs the next morning to Mum shouting at the top of her voice, as usual, trying to get the twins up and readyfor school. Theyâre fighting in the bedroom. Meanwhile, Patrick is trailing around the living room with his little cart of bricks, hoping for some breakfast, and baby Jack is screaming his head off because heâs hungry and needs his nappy changing. Mumâs trying to balance her ciggy on the end of the draining board in between shouts, telling me to sort Patrick out while she gets a bottle ready for Jack.
No one sees that Iâve brought Princess down with me, and let her out into the yard. Dadâs gone out early, which is a help, and Nickâs long since left for work. I get some cereal for Patrick and quietly let Princess back in again. She lies down behind the sofa on a pile of washing, and thatâs where she stays.
I keep my promise to help, and wash up before I collect my stuff for school. Dad comes in just as Iâm going. He doesnât look very happy as he goes to hang up a couple of pheasants on the back of the door. I see him go to the cupboard where Mum keeps a jar with money in, but when he takes it down thereâs no rattle of change and he sighs and puts it back. Then he catches sight of Princess behind the sofa.
âThat dog should be in the shed,â he says, but I can tell that he canât face another battle with me at the moment. Thatâs the thing with Dad: he makes a big fuss and tries to tell everyone what to do, and then gives in really quickly.
âBye Dad,â I say, giving him a kiss. âPrincess has promised to be good while Iâm at school.â I give him another kiss and look at him hopefully.
He gives an extra big sigh and says, âGo Ellie, before I change my mind.â
So from then on, Princess lives in the house with the rest of us, and sleeps upstairs on my bed.
Itâs great having my own dog. Princess loves going up to see Queenie and Jade at the allotment, and Margaret lets us play up there in the evenings, even though the puppies make a mess everywhere. We canât wait for the summer holidays to start.
âLetâs make a bonfire tomorrow and have fish and chips to celebrate the last day of term,â Margaret suggests.
So the next day Jan gets a lift with her dad, whoâs too fussy to want two dogs in his car at once, and I end up walking on my own to the allotment. I decide to cut through the park.
âThatâs a nice-looking bitch youâve got there,â says a voice from the shadows just as Iâm nearly at the far gate. Itâs Frank, smiling at me through his stumpy brown teeth. The stubble on his chin has got bits of old cigarette ash stuck in it, and heâs wearing a red t-shirt pulled tight over his fat