Pickles The Parrot: A Humorous Look At Life With An African Grey Read Online Free Page A

they were
rewarded with the answer, "Woolly Bugger!"
    The last guy, after being completely floored
by an intelligent response to his question, proceeded to grab a
handful of Woolly Buggers from the bin and dump them on the
counter. As he was reaching in his wallet to pay for them, he
suddenly looked at Pickles, then at me and remarked, "I can't
believe I'm actually taking fishing advice from a BIRD." But even
more astonishing was that the guy came back 2 days later, floating
2 feet off the ground in excitement and announced that he’d just
had the BEST fishing EVER!
    There’s a good joke that fits Pickles to a
tee and it goes like this…
    (A lady was walking down the street to work
and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
    The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are
really ugly." Well, the lady is furious!
    She stormed past the store to her work.
    On the way home she saw the same parrot and
it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly
ticked now.
    The next day the same parrot again said to
her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
    The lady was so ticked that she went into the
store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The
store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure
the parrot didn't say it again.
    When the lady walked past the store that day
after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
    She paused and said,” Yes?"
    The bird said, "You know.")
    Pickles has the same snide attitude. A group
of 4 guys were bantering back and forth withPickles as they were
shopping. Suddenly Pickles got quiet, climbed to his highest perch
on the play stand, surveyed the room then demanded "Everybody go
home!" Everyone laughed and ignored his command so he barked,
"Let's go, let's go, let's go!"
    Pickles asked another customer "Wanna sing a
song?" so the lady politely obliged with the song "Rockin’ Robin"
to which Pickles snapped "Wanna GOOD song!"
    Then there was the guy who kept nagging
Pickles to talk while he was busy preening with his back to us.
Finally, he stopped preening long enough to peer over his shoulder
and tell the guy to "Go poop on a bug".
    We tried and tried to get pickles to say,
"How's the fishing?" a polite greeting when people walked in the
door but, no way. He liked to greet people with "Hello bugger!" and
when they left, it was, "Bye bye. Be gone bugger."
    Instead of asking people if they want to buy
a fly, it was "Wanna buy a bean? Huh? HUH?"
    Now and then, Pickles would get cranky. Slow
days were unacceptable and he would start in on me…
    Pickles: Wanna go home?
    Me: Not yet Pickles.
    Pickles: Step up, let’s go home.
    Me: Pretty soon.
    Pickles: Let’s go home and get some supper.
Doncha want some supper?
    Me: I’m not hungry.
    Pickles: Arncha hungry?
    Me: We’re NOT going HOME Pickles!
    Pickles: Brat.
    A parrot in the fly shop turned out to be
good for business. Tourists and fly fishermen from around the globe
had heard about Pickles and usually made a point of dropping by. At
times it was frustrating though. People sometimes hung around a
little too much and often they would want to teach him new words or
sounds, which we didn’t want him copying. Children would hang
around too long, taking up room at the counter or keeping us from
getting work done. We had to watch them like hawks for fear that
items would go missing.
    One couple dropped by and while they were
shopping around, their 2 kids aged about 3 and 5 tore around the
shop, screeching their little heads off. Suddenly, I was hearing it
in stereo—the kids on one side of the counter, Pickles on the
other. After awhile, the mother came up to pay for her items and
while we were making the transaction, she kept cringing at Pickles’
screeches. “Doesn’t that bird drive you crazy with those sounds?”
she asked. I replied, “Do your kids drive you crazy with the sounds they make?” She looked offended and said “Of course not.” I
informed her that Pickles was merely