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anybody. And I am a crack-proof safe for secrets,” Bean said. “Plus, Principal Lebonsky and I aren’t exactly on the same side.”
    â€œThe, um, club is by invitation only. Sorry, Bean.” I was only sorry in a feeling-a-little-bit-guilty way. Not a regretful way.
    â€œOkey dokey, artichokey. I’ll let Frank know that you’re not into it.” She skipped back toward the school. I felt relieved that she’d given up so easily. It started dawning on me that it might have been too easy, when she stopped and swiveled back around. “Too bad. We could have done a lot with the costumes.”
    â€œWhat costumes?”
    â€œThe ones in my dad’s shop, silly. Lee’s Costume & Party? It could have been kind of super.”
    So, then there were four of us.

 
    10
    A Cryptic Message
    I checked my email in the morning. And then I called Oliver.
    â€œFrank is like a super spy,” I said after Oliver let me have it for waking him up.
    â€œWhat? Why?”
    â€œHe just emailed me! He’s never emailed me before. And I’ve never emailed him! I checked. How did he get my email address? Do you think he hacked my computer?”
    â€œI think he used the roster they gave us at orientation,” Oliver said, and hung up. That bummed me out a little bit, but then I opened the email and it was in Japanese. I didn’t even know Frank knew Japanese, and I don’t know why he thought I did. I called Oliver again.
    â€œIt’s not even in English,” I said.
    â€œWhat’s not in English?” Oliver said in a deep, slow voice.
    â€œDid you fall back asleep?”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œBut we were just on the phone, like, a minute ago.”
    â€œSo?” he said. “I was up late rehearsing for Hello, Dolly! The spring play? I have the lead, you know.”
    â€œYou’re Dolly?”
    â€œNo! I’m Horace Vandergelder,” Oliver said.
    â€œI don’t know what that means.”
    â€œWhat do you want, Ben?”
    â€œWell, I opened Frank’s email. It’s in Japanese or something. Why does he think I know Japanese?”
    â€œThat sounds like a question for Frank,” Oliver said. Then he hung up again.
    I found the school roster in the junk drawer in the kitchen and called Frank up.
    â€œHello, Ben,” Frank answered. “You have questions about my message.”
    â€œHow did you know?” I said. I heard Frank yawn.
    â€œWhat can I do for you?”
    â€œWell, you know the email you sent? It looks like it’s in Japanese. I don’t really know Japanese, so I wondered if you could, like, send it in English?”
    â€œI don’t know Japanese. Neither do you. Neither does Ms. Ruiz, Principal Lebonsky, or most anybody else in our school. In case your email has been compromised,” Frank said. While he talked my computer beeped and another email popped up from an Agent Fix-it with a link to an online email language translator and a note:
    Next time it might be in Russian.
    â€œWhoa. Who’s Agent Fix-it?” Maybe Frank had invited someone else into the club.
    â€œThat would be me,” he said, and hung up.
    So cool. I translated the email that Frank sent, and it turned out to be a paragraph cut and pasted from the Board of Education website. It said that any student could form a club at school by telling the head office. If the office accepted the group as a legitimate organization and it had four or more members, it qualified for special funding from the Parent Teacher Association (P.T.A.).
    We had a group of four students, but it’s not like we could go tell them that we wanted to cause trouble. We needed a cover. If we started a secret club and called it something else, something innocent and non-suspicious, we could meet at school and they’d give us money.
    Double identities!
    I opened a new email account under the name Agent Queso (my cheese love knows no bounds) and