Phoenix Rising Read Online Free Page B

all those girls like him. When you have his attention, it’s one hundred percent. His eyes are like spotlights.
    â€œYeah,” I said.
    â€œScary ones?”
    I shook my head. I hate to talk about the dreams. It makes them real.
    I said, “They’re mostly about Helen.”
    Lucas nodded. “What’s she doing in them?”
    â€œDifferent things. Mostly dying,” I said. “But not like in real life; more like a play. Last night she called me up and said she was going to come get me so we could go shopping. And I kept waiting, but she never got here. Bambi was in it, too.”
    â€œWhat a lucky break for you.” Lucas thinks Bambi is an unintentional riot.
    â€œShe was telling me that Cheerios are doughnut seeds.”
    We laughed. My father snorted and rumbled on the sofa. “He’s so cute when he’s asleep,” Lucas said.
    The next thing I knew, he was jiggling me awake. He couldn’t get Dad up, so he covered him with an afghan and turned off the TV set.
    Lucas followed me up the stairs. I wanted to talk to him; to tell him how much I’d liked the music; how proud of him I am; how much I love him.
    Instead, I said, “Thanks for taking me.”
    â€œIt was fun.” Lucas stopped outside his bedroom door and yawned. “Wake me up if the dreams get too weird. Or if you grow any doughnuts.”
    Then he went into his room.

5
    February 15
    Geez, I used to write in here all the time, but lately I’m way behind. When you’re not busy, you’ve got time to write in your journal and nothing to write about, and when lots of stuff is happening, you’re too busy to write it down .
    So, what’s new :
    I’m getting a story (Blackbird) published in the school literary magazine! This could be the start of something big! (Miss Modesty)
    What else. Bambi’s mother had her face lifted. She looks completely different. She looks like she can’t close her eyes. Bambi thinks her mom looks terrific. She says when she’s that age she’s either going to kill herself or get her face lifted .
    Personally, I think they lifted Mrs. Bordtz’s face too far. She could pluck her eyebrows with her teeth .
    Mom bought me a beautiful blue sweater the other day. Just for fun, she said, ’cause she thought I’d like it. I do !
    Lucas has gotten a job in a music store, so he can make money during the day and go broke at night playing free gigs. Dad’s not happy about the job. He wants Lucas to go back to college. He has this insane idea that Lucas is going through a phase, and that some morning he’ll come down for breakfast in a suit and tie, freshly shaved .…
    I got a C on my math test. Phooey. Or, as Sara Rose would say: Poopoo forever! She was so cute when I was over there the other night. I wonder if I’ll have kids someday. That’s kind of hard to picture, but I like them .
    Bloomfield gave me a valentine .
    I gave him one, of course, with this drippy poem I’d written, but I didn’t think he’d have one for me. It’s a little kid’s valentine: “Bee mine, honey! You’re sweet!” with a real nice note inside. He’s different on paper than in person. Softer. He tells me what he couldn’t say, i.e., that he likes the color of my hair; it looks warm .
    The other night we had this big discussion about life, sitting in his car in front of the house. Jessie and the folks took turns peeking out the windows until he honked the horn and flashed the lights .
    The moon was down and you could see a million stars. Bloomfield started talking about the universe (big subject) and how crazy it is to believe in God; life is just a freak accident and you might as well make the best of it, etc .
    Then he asked did I believe in God, and I felt kind of embarrassed telling him yes, since I can’t explain it. I don’t picture God as a guy in a white beard, or some game-show host awarding