Party Poopers Read Online Free Page A

“Of course, we don’t have a rodent hunt any longer,” he said. “The All-Nighter haschanged a lot. But it’s still a girl-ask-boy party.”
    Mrs. Pocketlint held up a long sheet of paper. “We have a list of rules you need to follow at the party,” she said, sniffing the air again. “The list is short, only one hundred and twelve rules, and I’d like to read them to you now.”
    That was the signal for us to start talking and laughing, telling jokes, pushing one another, arm wrestling, and fist-fighting. We kept this up until the list of 112 rules had been read. I didn’t hear a single rule. I was too busy thinking about how I could prove to Jennifer that I was a total loser, unworthy of her.

    And when I saw Mr. and Mrs. Pocketlint wheel a machine onstage, I realized I had my chance.
    I saw my archenemy, that spoiled rich kid, Sherman Oaks, strut onto the stage. Sherman is the leader of Nyce House. He is tall and blond and good-looking, in an icky sort of way.
    He’s so spoiled, he never looks in a mirror. He has someone else look in a mirror for him!
    Sherman had a big, toothy grin on his face as he stepped up to the machine. The machine had a flat-screen monitor, a big speaker, and a microphone resting on its top.
    â€œDudes, you probablyknow what this is,” Sherman said. “But, of course, you’re not filthy rich like me, so you can’t afford one!”
    Mrs. Pocketlint sniffed the air. “Just tell them what it is, Sherman,” she said.
    â€œIt’s a video karaoke machine!” Sherman announced. “We’re gonna use it for the All-Nighter.”

    Everyone went nuts. Who doesn’t love video karaoke? Sherman Oaks was a hero!
    â€œMy parents bought this for me,” Sherman announced. “They like to spoil me rotten because then they don’t have to spend any time with me!”

    Kids started to scream and shout.
    â€œDo we have a volunteer?” Mrs. Pocketlint shouted.
    I jumped to my feet. Perfect! This was my big chance! My chance to look like a total loser in front of Jennifer!

Chapter 12
T INKLE T INKLE
    Don’t think it’s easy for the great Bernie B. to act like a klutz and a loser. I’ve been a winner all my life, but now I had to act, act, act .
    I made my way up the stairs to the stage—and stumbled and tripped just to make myself look like a jerk. I flashed Sherman a grin as I stepped up to his machine.
    â€œOoh, can I try it, Sherman?” I asked, pretending to tremble and shake. “I’ve never done anything like this before,” I said. “Is it hard to do?”
    â€œGo, Bernie!” a girl in the audience shouted.
    Who was it? I hoped it wasn’t Jennifer.
    â€œGo, Bernie! Go, Bernie!” some other kids started to chant.
    I picked up the microphone. “Could you show me how it works?” I asked Sherman. “I’m not a good singer, but perhaps…”
    Sherman grinned. “Anyone can do it, Bernie—even you.” He turned to the machine and clicked a few dials and buttons.
    I pretended to be totally confused. “Do I press this button right here?” I pushed a red button, and a deafening squeal came out of the box.
    â€œNo! Don’t push that one!” Sherman cried.
    â€œYou mean this one?” I said. I pushed it again. Another high squeal that made everyone cover their ears.
    â€œDon’t touch anything,” Sherman said.
    â€œThen how is he going to learn?” Mrs. Pocketlint asked.
    â€œYes, how am I going to learn?” I said. “Do I turn this?” I reached into an opening on the side of the video screen. “Hey—my hand is stuck!” I cried.
    I pretended I couldn’t get my hand out. I twistedand pulled. I pushed the red button again and made the machine squeal.
    â€œDon’t touch that!” Sherman cried. He was starting to get steamed.
    I heard kids laughing. Some kids still