Out of the Black Read Online Free Page B

it.”
    A minute later, Anna came back carrying a red shoebox filled with Polaroid photos. She set the box on the kitchen table and started taking the photos out, one by one.
    “You’ve been busy,” I said.
    I flipped through the photos as she handed them to me. Most were of Dash in her room, some were of Carrie sitting on the couch with a book open on her lap, and the rest were random shots from outside.
    “I think you have a photographer on your hands,” Carrie said. “She’s unstoppable.”
    I smiled and kept sorting through the photos. One caught my eye and I slid it out of the pile and held it up held up his hands. “to the out of to the light. It was of one of the feral cats from around the neighborhood. This one was orange and black, and it was crouched next to the fence by the alley. Its head was turned toward the camera, eyes reflecting red, and it had something heavy and gray in its mouth.
    I held it out to Anna. “What’s this one?”
    She looked at it. “That’s a cat.”
    “I got that,” I said. “What’s in its mouth?”
    “A rat.”
    I looked closer. At first I didn’t see it, but then I noticed the claws and the thin black-wire tail.
    Something rotten settled inside me.
    “This was out back?”
    Anna nodded, never looking up from the photos. “Over by the fence.”
    “There are rats out there?”
    “I started seeing them over the summer,” Carrie said. “I’m surprised you haven’t noticed them.”
    I flipped through a few more shots of abandoned homes, barred windows, and overgrown lawns, each photo looming larger than the last. It occurred to me that I was seeing Anna’s world, the world I provided for her, through her eyes.
    The realization weighed heavy in my chest.
    I looked through them all before going back to the one with the rat. There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn’t know where to begin.
    Anna must’ve noticed, because she smiled, said, “It’s okay, Daddy. They leave you alone if you leave them alone.”
    I cleared my throat and tried to keep my voice calm. “You just stay away from them, got it?”
    Anna nodded.
    I dropped the photo on top of the stack and leaned back. For a while, nobody said anything.
    Carrie held up one of the cupcakes. “Who’s ready?”
    I didn’t feel like eating anythingand tried not

7
    On the day the letter arrived, Anna was outside with Dash. She was building a snowman with what little snow was left on the ground while Dash ran in circles around her, jumping, barking.
    I stood at the window with the letterXk? y in one hand and the phone in the other, trying to calm down. I had to call Jerry, but I was forcing myself to wait. At that moment, all I wanted to do was put my fist through a wall. I knew if I didn’t take some time, I’d only make things worse.
    I watched Anna for a while longer, then turned away from the window and sat at the kitchen table. I unfolded the letter in front of me. It was from a law firm upstate telling me they were starting custody proceedings. They were asking me to consider Anna’s best interests and willfully sign over guardianship to her grandparents.
    I read the letter twice, then dialed Jerry’s number.
    He answered on the second ring.
    I asked him about the letter, and somehow managed to keep my voice calm. I don’t know how, but I did.
    “It’s all in there,” Jerry said. “I don’t have anything else to add.”
    I picked up the letter and read it out loud. When I finished, I said, “Her best interest? When have I ever done anything that wasn’t in her best interest?”
    “That’s not—”
    “Answer the question.” My voice was loud, but I couldn’t help it. “When have I ever done anything where she wasn’t right up front in my mind?”
    “I told you,” Jerry said. “We’re only trying to help.”
    “By taking my daughter?”
    “No one is taking anyone.”
    “Then what the fuck do you call it?”
    Jerry pulled the phone away, covered the receiver, and said something