then he could look for clues to substantiate that possibility.
With renewed energy, he punched to his feet and practically threw himself across the room to the closest computer panel. Then he stood there, his fingers darting across it as he commanded the computer to access her file.
He wasn’t thinking. Because if he had been thinking, he would have realised that not only did you need a reason to access another Galactic Coalition Academy member’s file, but every time such a file was accessed, the activity was logged.
So it was no surprise when the computer suddenly beeped back at him that he didn’t have permission.
He blinked, taking a few steps away from the computer, swearing loudly.
They had locked him out.
Carson had a relatively high level of access, and it should be no problem for him to complete such a task. Yet the message flashing in yellow and red on his computer panel told him he did not have permission.
He clenched his teeth together, shifting his jaw forward until he collected his lip and crushed it back and forth between his incisors. It crumpled, and soon he tasted blood, but he didn’t stop.
Instead, with a heavy breath, he finally pushed himself forward, and rested his fingers against the panel as he thought of what to do next.
He knew of several technically illegal ways to get the information he wanted, but he also realised that he would likely be under surveillance. On psychiatric grounds, Admiral Forest was no doubt watching his every move, especially when it came to accessing Galactic Coalition Academy files.
‘ Fine,’ he snapped aloud, bringing his hand back and cracking his knuckles, then setting them once more against the panel. At least he could access his own file; presumably, that had not been locked off from him. And sure enough, after several seconds, it blinked up on the screen.
He spent the next hour studying it thoroughly, looking for any differences.
There were none.
It was a perfect match for the file he remembered.
It did not mention any incidences that he could pinpoint as evidencing a varying timeline.
Just the same old garbage.
Soon enough Carson pushed back, pushing out a frustrated sigh as he did.
He just didn’t know what to do.
There was no clear path forward. He felt trapped, broken, defeated.
With that one word ringing in his mind, he struck out again with his fist, yet there was nothing to hit.
So he simply flailed wildly in the air, until finally Carson collapsed.
Right down to his knees.
And there he remained, considering the carpet as he considered one awful, terrible possibility.
. . . .
What if he was wrong?
What if Cadet Nida Harper really had died three weeks ago, and Carson was suffering from some kind of post-traumatic stress syndrome?
‘ No,’ he tried desperately as he shook his head, the move so pronounced he strained his neck muscles. ‘No,’ he cried again at his empty room, his voice echoing off the walls.
He wasn’t breaking down. This wasn’t him losing his sanity.
This was the world losing its mind.
He brought his knees up and crumpled his head against them.
He had never felt so weak.
And it was in stark contrast to how strong he had seemed back in the past on Vex. In his armour, with his scanner and gun, he had felt like a god. Nothing the Vex had thrown at him could damage him. He had just streamed past them, as if they were nothing more substantial than steam.
Yet right now, he was at his lowest.
Though he was back at the Galactic Coalition Academy, and he had access to the galaxy’s greatest technology, he did not feel strong.
He felt pathetically and completely weak.
And lost.
Terribly lost.
Flopping onto his back, he closed his eyes and considered the darkness that enshrouded him.
Though he wanted to hold onto hope. He couldn’t.
It was slipping away with every second and every minute and every hour.
The longer he remained in this time, the more he knew, instinctively, that he would begin to