Organize Your Corpses Read Online Free Page A

the tan one, were ready with homecoming kisses.
    Unconditional love. I needed that.
    The phone screamed. Naturally, I reached for the receiver. A lifetime of conditioning is a curse.
    “Are you all right?” Sally shrieked.
    I stood in my tiny front entrance, with the door open to the stairs, holding the phone with one hand, while the dogs leaped joyously, tugging at my grocery essentials. I dropped my house keys. The bag from Tang’s followed. The dogs went after the spilled goodies.
    “Can I call you back? This isn’t the perfect time. You two leave those Mars bars. I mean it.”
    “Come on, you must have been traumatized. Remember how terrified we used to be? That hideous old bat. I hope you told her to take her stinky old project straight to hell.”
    “I’m not traumatized and I am taking on the project.”
    “How could you after everything she did to us?”
    “Can we talk later? I just got in.”
    The fact was I didn’t think I could explain to Sally why I wanted this. It wasn’t just the potential media exposure. It was Miss Henley herself. Sure I’d been terrified of her. Everyone had been. But I’d been impressed too. Miss Henley’s classroom had been a model of order, her desk a work of art. Her lesson plans were done a month in advance; color-coded highlighting illustrated her board notes. Her files were the same size, with crisply printed labels. She was never late, never flustered, and never chaotic. I was sure she’d never missed deadlines or had awkward man trouble, like say, for instance, my mother. I couldn’t imagine that Miss Henley’s underwear ever turned up draped over lamps. She understood the value of written goals and milestones. And she always wore such lovely shoes.
    Sally said, “I want to hear all the gruesome details. I was so afraid for you.”
    “I’ll fill you in tomorrow.”
    “I won’t be able to stand the suspense.”
    “Be strong.”
    I bent down and snatched a Mars bar from Truffle. Luckily, an orange rolled under the hall console and both dogs raced after it, teeth bared. They lost interest in a few seconds and made a bid for the Ben & Jerry’s containers. Sweet Marie spotted the keys, and I had a serious tussle to get those back.
    “I have to get my ice cream in the fridge. It’s already melting.”
    “Remember who your friends are, Charlotte,” Sally said before she hung up.
    Meanwhile Jack had arrived and repositioned the chair in my entryway. He was sprawled, waiting, with his long legs stretched out. Bike boy was wearing shorts in November. Still he’d been kind enough to lift the Ben & Jerry’s out of harm’s way. “Wow. Three tubs,” he said.
    “You betcha.”
    “Ben & Jerry’s too.”
    “Nothing but the best for the best people.”
    “Maybe it’s time for me to get out of the bike business. Where’d you get it? On sale somewhere?”
    “Tang’s.”
    “You must be kidding. You bought three containers of Ben & Jerry’s from Tang’s? Did you win the lottery?”
    “The cops were blocking the way to Hannaford’s.”
    “Really? What was going on?”
    “Just a lot of flashing lights.”
    “More than that. The radio said it was some kind of shooting,” Jack said, staring with longing at the Ben & Jerry’s.
    “A shooting? In Woodbridge? Unbelievable. That explains why Pepper was there.”
    “Pepper? No way. You talked to her?” He attempted to remove the lid from one of the containers.
    “Hands off the treats, Jack. And no, I didn’t talk to her.”
    “You just let her walk by?”
    I must have looked a bit sheepish because Jack said, “Baaaaa.”
    I threw a Mars bar at him. “Cut it out.”
    “Did big scary Sergeant Pepper speak to you then?”
    I said, “She didn’t see me. Now get out of my way. I have to walk the dogs.”
    “You want me to put this stuff in the freezer?”
    “Thanks. Make sure it’s uneaten and unopened.”
    “Take your time.” Jack is always patient. That’s more than I can say for Truffle and Sweet