Only the Heart Read Online Free Page A

loved those late suppers, and the feeling of security that being there gave me. But I was only young, and exciting as it was, sometimes I just wouldn’t make the distance.
    I remember lots of times being woken up where I’d fallen asleep on the floor behind the shrine or under the window, and being taken upstairs to bed, secure in my father’s arms.
    That was before he disappeared one night, and never came back …
    They were fun times.
    If we got to bed early enough, and we were still awake, Phuong or one of the older kids would tell us ghost stories. Really creepy tales of lost souls and monsters that looked like beautiful humans — until they got you in their clutches.
    But I wouldn’t pull the pillow up around my throat, like the other girls, when they told how the fangs bit into the hero’s neck and the blood began to spurt. I’d always ask questions, trying to satisfy my curiosity about things that struck me as a bit dumb.
    Like, “Why would anyone be stupid enough to follow a beautiful woman into a dark cave, when everyone knew it was haunted?” or “Why would any spirit powerful enough to destroy a whole village choose to live on top of a cold, windy mountain-top, instead of down in the valley?”
    In the end, they got into the habit of telling me to shut up before I even opened my mouth. I suppose questions of logic do ruin the atmosphere of a scary story.
    Toan was too young to think of asking those sorts of questions. And you could tell the stories scared him, even when he tried to act really brave. He always gave himself away. A couple of times he even asked me to go with him to the toilet, because he was too scared to go alone. He whispered it in my ear, and I never told a soul.
    It doesn’t do to show your cousins and their friends that their stories have scared you. They know how to make the most of it later on.
    Still, it was pretty obvious that they’d scared him. He hadn’t developed his acting skills yet. Which meant that he was no challenge.
    I think they were more interested in scaring me. But they just never could. Maybe I had no imagination, I don’t know.
    Toan reckons I was just born tough.
    You have to love him. He always says the right things. If he wasn’t my cousin, and I wasn’t already … attached, I’d probably end up marrying him, in spite of the fact that he’s eighteen months younger than me. As it is, I’ll just have to make sure he chooses the right girl. The way they’re throwing themselves at him just at the moment, it would be easy for him to make a mistake. It’s the sort of thing that happens when you become an “overnight celebrity” …
    Look, just stop me any time I start rambling, will you? I get side-tracked easily. And I doubt you’re the slightest bit interested in Vo An Toan’s love life — even if I am.
    I was just making the point that I was never afraid of stories. Or real life. I guess I took after my mother.
    Even losing my father didn’t break her.
    It was right near the end of seventy-three. He was doing reconnaissance for the army, and when he was reported missing, everyone in the house knew what it meant.
    My mother sat in her room for three days. She didn’t eat and she didn’t speak to anyone. I don’t know if she slept, even. They wouldn’t let me go to her.
    Then on the fourth day she came out of the room, lit three sticks of incense in front of the goddess, said prayers for my father, and went on with her life.
    In the years that followed, many men were drawn to her beauty, but she always cut them off with the same line.
    â€œMy husband will return …”
    I don’t know if she really believed it, but no one ever saw her cry.
    No one ever saw me cry, either. I made certain they weren’t around when I did …
    But I really loved the city. It was so … alive. Even with the war on, and the news getting worse