One Lonely Degree Read Online Free Page B

peripheral vision for the second time today. Maybe if I didn’t have to look at him all the time I’d be better, or maybe I’m just too weak to get past it. I don’t know anymore. My saliva’s bitter in mymouth and my fingers jerk, just like Samsam’s paws do when he’s dreaming.
    “Thanks,” I repeat, carefully closing my textbook.
    “Sure.” Jersy gives me one last glance before he ambles off down the hall. He’s still too much of a mystery for me to understand what the look means, but if I had to guess I’d say he just figured out that I’m the freakiest girl at St. Mark’s.

MO m DO e S n ’T W a ST e any time calling Mrs. Mikulski. A couple of days later they’re drinking herbal tea in our living room, all smiles and cheerful voices. Dad pops his head in to say hello and then excuses himself to grade history papers for his senior class at Archbishop MacNeil. Dad’s not the most sociable person in the world. For the most part he’s happier spending time with homework assignments than with people. My mom thinks that’s why I turned out how I did, not that she’s ever said it out loud.
    I have to admit I’m a little curious about Mrs. Mikulski, though—and not just because she happens to be Jersy’s mother. You can forget a lot in nine years, but I remember her sitting quietly next to her husband at an Eastman company picnic. At the time I wished my mom could be more like her instead of flitting around from group to group, thriving on being the center of attention. It embarrassed me to watch her, and as soon as I realizedthat, I went and stood beside her, feeling guilty for something she probably hadn’t conceived of.
    “Come on in, Finn.” Mom beckons from the couch. “Say hello to Mrs. Mikulski.”
    “Anna,” Mrs. Mikulski corrects, smiling.
    “Hi.” I dip my head at her as I step into the living room.
    “Finn.” Mrs. Mikulski pronounces my name like it’s a happy surprise. “You’re so grown up.”
    “Tall,” I say, because isn’t that what she means?
    “That too,” Mrs. Mikulski says with a gentle laugh. She turns to my mother. “Where did the time go?”
    “It’s a surprise to me every time I look at her.” Mom shakes her head. “I don’t feel old enough to have a fifteen-year-old.”
    Actually, she’s one of the youngest mothers around. She had me when she was almost twenty-one. That’s why she never got around to finishing drama school and only starred in a single commercial—a tampon ad about a girl in a yellow bikini at the beach. I watched it a zillion times on video when I was a kid. I was so impressed that I wouldn’t be surprised if I played it for Jersy all those years ago.
    My heart sinks at the thought of him. Why couldn’t he have come along? I know I’m an antisocial weirdo, but should that matter to someone who used to pick his scabs in front of you and throw his arms around you all the time when you were six?
    The mental burp surprises me. I shouldn’t let myself think about Jersy too much. I have a hard enough time trying to deal with my unrequited crush feelings for Ryan.
    “Finn, call your brother, please.” Mom sips her tea, waiting for me to do her bidding.
    I drag Daniel away from some stupid reality TV show he shouldn’t be watching, wondering why no one in this house paysany attention to what he’s doing. Then I go up to my room, put Sam Roberts on my sound system, and IM Audrey. Our current record is nine hours and twenty-seven minutes, but I’m sure we’ll beat it one day. For two antisocial people we do a lot of typing and talking.
    Normally I tell Audrey everything. She knows that I would gladly donate my virginity to Raine Maida if he wasn’t married to Chantal. She knows I mean it too (or at least that
months
ago I did mean it), and not because I’m a shallow celebrity whore but because Raine Maida is the most beautiful of all the Beautiful Boys, and that’s not just a physical thing.
    Everyone knows Audrey and I are like two