to stop by Alex’s on the way to school, but you didn’t.
WHY?
Because you were lazy. Tired. You wanted a break from the INTENSITY. Whatever.
But Alex didn’t show up at school. Hasn’t been here all day long.
You should have dragged him to school, the way you did yesterday.
You GAVE UP, Ducky. You’re not supposed to do that, remember?
Now what?
DO something, that’s what.
35 more minutes until the end of lunch.
Maybe I can find him.
Maybe I should cut school myself.
South of Psychology
East of Self-Help
The sections, that is.
You’re working tonight. At Winslow Books.
You picture if you stand here long enough, the vibes from the books will teach you something.
Anyway, it’s break time. You have fifteen minutes. So write fast.
Since we last spoke:
1. You didn’t cut. You chickened out.
2. You didn’t find Alex either. You called his house from a pay phone at school, but no one answered.
3. You had some long-overdue face time with Sunny.
Number 3 happened after school. You were freaking out because you wanted to stop by Alex’s but you only had twenty minutes to report to Winslow Books.
Then you heard Sunny call out, “You’re giving me a ride.”
(You have to love her. She is so cool.)
You said, “My rates have gone up,” but she ignored you ad climbed into the passenger seat.
“Winslow Books, please, servant.”
“What’s the occasion?” you asked, driving away. “Your dad hired you for the Christmas rush?”
“What, and scare away the customers? Nope. He’s taking me to visit Dorian.”
“Dorian?”
“As in The Picture of Dorian Gray? The picture that ages before your eyes?”
“Are you talking about your MOM?”
“She calls HERSELF that. You have to admit, Ducky, she does look about 100 years old.”
You bit your tongue. Sometimes you can’t believe what comes out of Sunny’s mouth.
But that’s SUNNY, that’s her style. Keep everyone off guard, break down their barriers. Laugh in the face of your troubles. Use extreme humor, if you have to — whatever keeps you going.
You admire that, kind of. But right then you don’t know how to respond. You were thinking there was something strange going on. Sunny almost always goes to the hospital alone —
SOMETIMES with a trusted friend, but never with her dad unless it’s an emergency.
“Mom’s MUCH worse,” Sunny explained. “It’s just a matter of months, I guess. Maybe weeks.
Some Christmas present, huh?” She popped a stick of gum in her mouth and held the pack out to you. “Want some?”
Sunny was trying to be cool, but her face and body were giving her away. She was coiled up, intense. Her eyes were slitted and anxious.
You could tell she was scared out of her wits.
“I could go with you,” you volunteered.
Sunny laughed. “Right. Dad’s probably already calculating how much business he’ll lose by leaving the store. Don’t be surprised if he CHAINS you to the cash register.”
You pulled into the store’s parking lot. You expected Sunny to jump right out, but she didn’t.
She was looking down at the floor, gripping the dashboard.
You put your hand over hers. “Good luck,” you said.
She whirled around, threw her arms around you, and gave you a kiss on the cheek. Then, without a word, she left the car.
You caught up to her. Mr. Winslow was waiting by the front door, pacing, looking at his watch.
He started barking out instructions to you — clean up the spill in the children’s book section, open the two UPS boxes, find another shelf for New Age books, make sure to obey the store manager while he’s gone, etc., etc., etc.
You watched him and Sunny walk away to his car.
You wished there was something you could do, some way you could make it all better.
But you knew there wasn’t.
It seems there never is.
Siiilent Niiiight …
You’re beat. You can barely hold a pen and it’s bedtime. But your mind is zingy, so here goes.
You worked at the store nonstop. Very busy.
You