Numbers Don't Lie Read Online Free Page A

out,” Wu said. “I suspect we’re dealing with one of the rarest occurrences in the Universe. A neotopological metaeuclidean adjacency.”
    â€œA non-logical metaphysical what?”
    Wu handed me the envelope. It was covered with numbers:
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    â€œThat explains the whole thing,” Wu said. “A neotopological metaeuclidean adjacency. It’s quite rare. In fact, I think this may be the only one.”
    â€œYou’re sure about this?”
    â€œI used to be a physicist.”
    â€œI thought it was an engineer.”
    â€œBefore that. Look at the figures, Irv! Numbers don’t lie. That equation shows how space-time can be folded so that two parts are adjacent that are also, at the same time, separated by millions of miles. Or a quarter of a million, anyway.”
    â€œSo we’re talking about a sort of back door to the Moon?”
    â€œExactly.”
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    On Sundays I had visitation rights to the big-screen TV. I watched golf and stock car racing all afternoon with my wife, switching back and forth during commercials. We got along a lot better now that we weren’t speaking. Especially when she was holding the remote. On Monday morning, Wu arrived at the door at nine o’clock sharp, wearing coveralls and carrying a shopping bag and a toolbox.
    â€œHow do you know I don’t have court today?” I asked.
    â€œBecause I know you have only one case at present, your divorce, in which you are representing both parties in order to save money. Hi, Diane.”
    â€œHi, Wu.” (She was speaking to him.)
    We took my 145. Wu was silent all the way out Eastern Parkway, doing figures on a cocktail napkin from a Bay Ridge nightclub. “Go out last night?” I asked. After a whole day with Diane, I was dying to have somebody to talk to.
    â€œSomething was bothering me all night,” he said. “Since the surface of the Moon is a vacuum, how come all the air on Earth doesn’t rush through the shed door, along with the tires?”
    â€œI give up,” I said.
    We were at a stoplight. “There it is,” he said. He handed me the napkin, on which was scrawled:
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    â€œThere what is?”
    â€œThe answer to my question. As those figures demonstrate, Irv, we’re not just dealing with a neotopological metaeuclidean adjacency. We’re dealing with an incongruent neotopological metaeuclidean adjacency. The two areas are still separated by a quarter of a million miles, even though that distance has been folded to the width of a centimeter. It’s all there in black and white. See?”
    â€œI guess,” I said. The fourth thing you learn in law school is to never admit you don’t understand something.
    â€œThe air doesn’t rush through, because it can’t. It can kind of seep through, though, creating a slight microclimate in the immediate vicinity of the adjacency. Which is probably why we don’t die immediately of decompression. A tire can roll through, if you give it a shove, but air is too, too . . .”
    â€œToo wispy to shove,” I said.
    â€œExactly.”
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    I looked for the turn off Conduit, but nothing was familiar. I tried a few streets, but none of them led us into the Hole. “Not again!” Wu complained.
    â€œAgain!” I answered.
    I went back to Boulevard . Vinnie was behind the counter today, and he remembered me (with a little prodding).
    â€œYou’re not the only one having trouble finding the Hole,” he said. “It’s been hard to find lately.”
    â€œWhat do you mean, ‘lately’?” Wu asked from the doorway.
    â€œJust this last year. Every month or so it gets hard to find. I think it has to do with the Concorde. I read somewhere that the noise affects the tide, and the Hole isn’t that far from Jamaica Bay, you know.”
    â€œCan you draw us a map?” I