Not First Love Read Online Free Page A

saved his life once.
    He picked up his cell to call Zilo. He would tell him about Jan. He dialled the number and waited for him to pick up.
    A woman’s voice replied, “Jan here, what is it Arthur?”
    Arthur didn’t know what to say. He had dialled Jan’s number instead of calling Zilo.
    Arthur never made mistakes, never. But today he did.
    Now he had to say something to not look foolish.
    “I just wanted to check if you are all right and ... if...you need anything”, Arthur blurted out.
    “No, umm I don’t need anything right now. That’s sweet of you Arthur.”
    “Okay”, Arthur disconnected the call. What’s wrong with him he wondered? He doesn’t make mistakes, he never made mistakes. How could he call Jan instead of Zilo.
    He was forgetting the survival rules of his job. Never act when you are at an emotional state. Arthur was still feeling restless fighting with anger, guilt and pride. He needed to center himself. He sat on the sofa and took deep breaths. Closing his eyes, he focussed and slowed down his breathing. Face your emotions, his father would say, to stay centred. Look at your mind like it is a screen. Don’t judge, no matter what comes. Just be the seer.
    Arthur let the thoughts flow. Images begun to flow in his mind. He saw himself sitting in the hall talking to the Other. Then he saw the screen and saw Jan sitting perilously on the window ledge and he felt the mix of danger and fear. At that time, things happened so fast that he didn’t remember these well. He saw himself dashing and jumping through the stairs and almost breaking through the door. Jan was startled and she turned too swiftly. That is when she was at the edge. He felt the tension building on his neck. Arthur saw himself almost jumping towards the window and getting to Jan. He threw his arms around her waist and pulling her towards himself. He tightened his grip around her waist and Jan body was close to his. He remembered that her waist was small and so he had to put his arms tighter. The tension around his neck was fast vanishing and it seemed to have gone lower in the body.
    He held her and let himself fall first on the ground and Jan came on top of him. She was soft. Her hair came on his face. She was shocked but she got up quickly. Her dress had moved to the left and the strap of her deep pink bra showed. She adjusted her dress and looked embarrassed. She has beautiful... Arthur stopped himself. He opened his eyes. His heart was beating faster. He was feeling aroused. He wanted to curse at himself for feeling weak. But it is wiser to accept things than to resist it. He was a man in his prime and it has been a few months when he last slept with a woman.
    Forget the incident with Jan. He decided to call Claire. May be she can meet him tonight. Arthur remembered he couldn’t stay away all night. He was the guard to the confinee. Maybe he should ask Clara to come over here. It was not difficult to get women for Arthur, he could be the charmer if he wished. But Claire was good at giving him pleasure and there were absolutely no demands or questions from her. Although the tower building was away from the town and more into the woods, the distance was not too much. He was thinking what to tell Claire when he heard the sound of a motor. It was the delivery boy.
    Jan wished Arthur forgot today’s incident. She didn’t want Zilo or Ron to know of it. Ron would surely create a ruckus out of it. She waited for Arthur to come. She felt quite happy to hear the sound of the latch and knocking.
    “Arthur”, Jan took the food from it and kept it on the table. She took a chair and told him to sit. She needed to talk. Warily, Arthur took the seat.  
    “Arthur, I don’t want to let Zilo or Ron know about what happened today. Trust me if it will save a lot of trouble. Can you please do that for me?”
    Arthur admired her frankness. She looked tensed and he felt pity towards her.
    “Don’t do that again,” he said. It was so closed up