No Laughing Matter Read Online Free Page B

Mouse,’ Mr Matthews agreed.
    â€˜Indeed I will not. They don’t want an old woman’s stories. They want to explore all the wonders here.’ Miss Rickard gave Quentin half a crown out of her huge Morocco leather handbag. ‘See that everyone has a share.’Old Mrs Matthews added a florin. ‘I think two shillings is enough for children.’
    â€˜My dear mother, you’re spoiling them.’
    â€˜Yes, Mouse, you’re naughty.’
    But neither parent spoke very convincingly.
    â€˜Oh, no,’ said the old lady, ‘it’s a special day.’
    And the middle-aged one said, ‘My dear Clara, when we’ve all enjoyed ourselves so much it’s sheer hypocrisy to deny the children.’
    Even Stoker intervened. ‘I’m sure, Mum, they’ve been very good. And we all like to get up to our own larks, don’t we?’
    Young Mrs Matthews laughed. ‘Do we, Billy? Do we like to get up to our own larks?’
    â€˜Yes, my dear, I think we do.’ He put his hand on hers.
    â€˜Oh what a heavenly summer. Especially here out of the dust. Oh Billy, I have a feeling that your Regency boxing novel is going to be a tremendous success. And we’ll have lots of money and travel everywhere . Japan will be nothing. You haven’t seen the half of it, Mouse.’
    â€˜My dear, you shall live like a queen yet.’
    This time Miss Rickard exchanged a glance with old Mrs Matthews. Her niece perhaps caught sight of it, for she turned almost sharply to the children. ‘Well, your father and I are in a good mood for once. Run off and make the most of it.’
    Led by Quentin the children wandered across to the great Union Jack made out of geraniums, white candytuft and lobelias, and there, out of the adults ‘hearing, they argued the spending of the money. They hoped for the water chute and the big wheel but prices were against them so, of course, first choice had to be the wheel – the wheel on which, heavenly thought, years and years ago, twenty-four people had been stranded all night. But, delicious though it proved to be, whirled out into the heavens high above the houses and streets of Kensington, faster and faster until Gladys felt that she had frighteningly swallowed a piece of blue sky and Marcus’ laughter had turned to screaming, they were giddy and white faced without luck, for the wheel eventually returned them to the ground. Now there was nothing for it but the shooting ranges or the fortune telling machines, and over these they were divided equally between boys and girls. A decision might never have been reached if Marcus had not been seized with one of his screaming fits. That these were taken for granted at home did not make passers by the less curious at the sight of a youngboy in long-trousered sailor suit standing apart and uttering a loud prolonged ‘Aah!’ to the world at large, so that soon a small crowd had gathered and his siblings became aware that Marcus could prove an embarrassment abroad. It was Gladys who thought of the laughing mirrors, but Quentin, the eldest, who agreed rather savagely. ‘It won’t matter if he does scream his head off in there.’
    He gave the money to the boy with no front teeth in the little entrance booth and they filed slowly through a dark corridor, even Marcus silenced by the sudden shocking-soothing chill air after the dust-laden heat outside. They were alone. Sukey, always so determined and practical, was the first to risk seeing her comic image. But the result was generally voted a bore. ‘It’s all fuzz and muzz,’ Marcus said. He hated uncertain lines. ‘She’s all soppy smiles,’ Rupert announced. ‘Oh, Sukey!’ her twin cried, ‘you look like a melting jelly.’ Not a pleasant verdict for the trim, neat, rosy cheeked, flaxen haired girl.
    But she had her own back when her tall sister stood before the next mirror. ‘Oh, look,