Nevermore: A Cal Leandros Novel Read Online Free Page B

be?
    Fingers kept scratching in the trash of the alley floor as the choking became louder and stubbornly continued. I exhaled, miles past pissed now. Asshole didn’t begin to cover this one. I squatted to capture glazed eyes, once muddy, now dark as grave dirt. But there was a flicker in them, hate, vicious and brutal. It was fading, but I didn’tknow if it was fading fast enough. “You’re a monster,” I said, matter-of-factly. “Punishing monsters like you is a hobby of mine.
    “But I’m on a tight schedule. Half a minute and I’ll finish what you started. And I’ll make it hurt. You think this is bad? Drowning in your own blood, agonizing breath by agonizing breath?” I smiled the special, nasty one I’d learned the two long years spent in my own monster hell. Fourteen years old and I’d been dragged there by the
thing
that bred my mother like she was a show pony, if show ponies accepted cash for services. The monsters there, the Auphe, had taught me death was a
game
and life was too dull to tolerate without the razor edge possibility of losing it at any second.
    “This . . . this is
nothing
.” I didn’t sound anything but unrepentant as that’s what I was, no more, no less.
    Sometimes I was a monster too.
    Sometimes I was a lion.
    It depended on my mood and my mood now was not fucking good.
    “This is flowers and fucking sunshine compared to what I can do to you. I’ll make thirty seconds feel like thirty years. See if that motivates you to get your murdering ass in gear. Oh, and pray if you want. Won’t work, but it’s fun to watch.” I slapped his patchy bearded cheek lightly. “Good talk. You’ve got fifty seconds left.”
    Standing back up, I kept count under my breath. Monsters and murderers both, true, but no one knew how to motivate like an Auphe. And they’d taught me, whether I’d wanted to know or not. I’d managed to bury most of the memories of those two years. Some resurfaced now and again and a few I’d never forgotten at all. This one refused to go. I hadn’t made up my mind on whether that was for the best or not.
    It
was
convenient. As long as you kept it a bluff. So far I had.
    I was pretty certain.
    Did my best, what else could anyone want from me?
    I avoided the puddle of dark red edging toward my boots. Evidence was bad. Revealing. Avoid it wheneverpossible. It was part of being on constant guard—Nik’s number one lesson when I’d been a kid when it came to Auphe and humans—
Be on guard, Cal. Always. Don’t let the monsters come up from behind, don’t let people see how different you can be. See them, but don’t let them see you. You’re a lion, little brother, remember? Watching from the tall grass. Invisible.
    I’d listened to Niko my whole life. And being on guard was a behavior I hadn’t outgrown. Never be seen by those you might not escape and be on guard against those who didn’t already know what I was. Being dissected by the government is not a healthy career goal. I’d listened, but sometimes no matter what choice you make, it’s wrong. There isn’t a right one and you are fucked—no escaping it. Being on guard hadn’t changed the truth that during one desperate, otherwise hopeless moment when I’d had to make a decision to break Niko and the Vigil’s rule.
    To come out of the grass.
    A lion in the light of the day.
    One in the shocked sight of an entire herd of dazed and staggering human sheep.
    There was no taking that back, leaving the tall, tall grass.
    And here we fucking were.
    No. Here I was.
    Alone.
    Until I made things right, and I would. No matter who had to die, no matter what I had to do. I’d already torn apart time itself to walk years into the past. I didn’t know the consequences of that and I didn’t care. Those were considerations that could kiss my ass at their very best, that’s how little I gave a shit.
    Weepy consciences are for people who have the luxury or the biological wiring.
    Right now, I had neither.
    There