My Secrets Discovered Read Online Free Page A

five or six women, and I’ll bring the party favors, if you know what I mean.” Blondie looked at me knowingly with a big wink.
    “A party. For my friends.” I mulled it over. “Yeah, I like it. A fuckerware party.”
    Blondie roared with laughter. “Fuckerware,” she screeched. “I love it!”
    “All right, then. I’ll check in with you early next week. I’d better get going now. Can you ring me up?”
    “Sure thing. I have one more item to add, though.”
    “Really?” I was excited to see what else Blondie had up her sleeve.
    “It’s a gift.” She reached under the counter and pulled out a small tin. “You know that tea you’ve been drinkin’? It’s an aphrodisiac blend I make special myself. You can make tea or grind it into powder. Stir it into almost anything, and it works like a charm.” Blondie grinned. “If it works half as good on your husband as it did on you, you got nothin’ to worry about on Saturday.”
    I became alarmed. Blondie had drugged me. My face must have given my thoughts away.  
    “Don’t worry. It’s all natural and can’t hurt anyone.”
    “What’s in it?”
    “Mostly Chinese herbs. I blend ginseng, maca, and horny goat weed with some other herbs.”
    “Horny goat weed?”
    “Yeah, got its name when some Chinese farmer noticed his goats acting all horny after grazing on it. Picture that, will you, a bunch of goats mounting each other and humping away.”
    I laughed along with her. “You are too much, Blondie. I have to say, it’s been an amazing shopping experience. I will definitely be in touch with you first thing Monday morning.”
    I never gave her the discount coupon and didn’t notice her stuffing some additional goodies in the bag. When I opened the bag at home, I got one very exciting surprise.

Chapter Three
    It was tax season, so Mark worked on Saturday, which was perfect for me. I had the whole day to get myself gussied up and ready for our regular Saturday night date—although I hoped what I was doing would create a new and more frequent norm for our sex life.
    I’d scheduled a complete makeover at Goddessa, the salon Blondie recommended. I was going in at ten in the morning for a haircut and color, bikini wax, manicure, pedicure, and make-up application. It was the half-day spa package, and I’d be home by three o’clock with plenty of time to take a quick bath, and ready myself and the bedroom.  
    I planned to meet Mark at the door when he came home around six in the sexy new black dress and heels I bought on the way home from Secrets. I’d be holding a glass of wine for him, specially prepared with the ground-up love potion Blondie gave me. After a delicious homecooked dinner and the rest of that bottle of wine, I’d sneak upstairs on the pretext of getting something, change into my new lingerie and see-through nightie, and lure him up to the bedroom with some request.  
    I thought it was a good plan, but I forgot to factor in Murphy’s Law. Yes, whatever could go wrong did go wrong.
    My first mistake was to brew some of Blondie’s tea with an extra chamomile tea bag before I left for my salon appointment. I figured one mug would help me to relax and not be so nervous because my inner critic was having a field day telling me that I would be sorry I was going to strange salon and hairdresser. Why was I taking beauty advice from Blondie?I fast-forwarded my thoughts to seeing horror instead of lust on Mark’s face when I appeared in my new lingerie.  
    No, I really needed that tea or I probably would have cancelled everything.
    The one cup of tea with my breakfast was so helpful at calming my nerves, I made a second cup and put it in my travel mug. By the time I got to the salon, I was the most relaxed I can ever remember being—and it’s a good thing, too, because the first thing scheduled for my day of beauty was a Brazilian bikini wax. In case you don’t know, during this personal care service, all the pubic hair is removed by laying