Must Love Fangs (Midnight Liaisons) Read Online Free Page B

look at him.
    He wasn’t . . . cute. Well, that was fine. I wasn’t picky. I had barely glanced at his photo, because it didn’t matter what he looked like—not if it bought me more time here on earth. Perhaps “not cute” was being generous, though. He looked more like Uncle Fester. Weren’t vampires supposed to be gloriously sexy? This one was balding, pudgy, and wearing too much black. He was pale, which I expected, and mopping his sweating forehead with my dinner napkin, which I did not expect.
    “Hi,” I said, expecting him to stand at my arrival. “I’m Marie.”
    He just wrinkled his brow. “Minnie?”
    “Yes, that’s what I said,” I amended quickly.
    He studied me for a minute. “You look familiar.”
    Next time I’d have to change my appearance a bit more. Obviously he’d recognized me from the office. “I get that a lot,” I told him quickly and sat down.
    He frowned at me, then picked up his drink, sipping it through a straw, and I noticed the distinct lack of fangs in his mouth. I studied him for a moment, then had to ask. “Are you sure you’re a vampire?”
    He stared at me, appalled. “Are you asking to see my fangs?”
    “Maybe?”
    “Am I asking to see your tail?”
    Point taken. I gave him a tight smile and stuck my hand out. “Let’s start this over again. Hi, I’m Minnie, your date for tonight.”
    He took my hand and clasped my fingers, the most limp handshake I’d ever received. Worse, his hands were clammy.
    But I didn’t care if he was unattractive; after all, I didn’t want to sleep with him. I just wanted him to turn me.
    He had a strangely appealing scent, I noticed. Pleasant and warm, like sunshine or fresh cookies. I liked that about him. Unfortunately it was the only thing I liked about him, given that he continued to stare at me.
    “And your name is,” I prompted.
    “Bert. It was on my profile,” he said peevishly.
    “Hi, Bert,” I said between gritted teeth. “So nice to meet you.”
    He eyed me up and down, then went back to drinking his water.
    “So . . . ” I said and smiled again, though it felt tight. “How long have you been a vampire?”
    “Long enough,” he said, looking at me with irritation. “Look, unless you want me to feed on you, I don’t know that this is going to work out.”
    I sputtered. I just got here and he was dumping me? “Excuse me?”
    “I’m sorry to say that you’re not my type, Minnie. You looked more attractive in your picture.”
    I stared at him in surprise. This lump was dumping me ? Really?
    “So,” he said, swirling his straw in his glass and making the ice clink against the sides rapidly, “we can skip the small talk. If you’re looking for a one-night stand with a vampire, I’m your man. Right now I’m so thirsty, I’ll drink just about anything that walks through that door.” As if to prove his point, his fangs distended. I watched in horror as they pushed past his parted lips, then retracted again.
    Oh, ew .
    “But if you’re looking for something long term, I don’t think we’re compatible.”
    “I just sat down,” I protested. “How do you know we’re not compatible?”
    And why on earth was I arguing with this revolting creature about my attractiveness?
    “I’m a visual connoisseur, Minnie,” he said in an utterly serious voice. “And you have a few things working against you. Those eyebrows. Those glasses. And I like women with more assets. You need a bit more donk in your badonkadonk.”
    “You think I don’t have enough junk in my trunk ?” I said loudly, causing the sushi chef to look over at us with a frown.
    Bert shrugged. “A man can’t help what he likes. Some men like breasts, legs, or necks. I’m more of a bottom aficionado.”
    More like a bottom feeder . Ugh. Maybe I wasn’t all that desperate after all.
    I tried one last time. “Before I go, can I ask you how you feel about turning your partner?”
    He snorted. “As if. I wouldn’t turn you if you paid