Ms. Krup Cracks Me Up! Read Online Free Page B

length of a football field.”

    â€œRemind me not to play football on that field,” said Michael.
    â€œPeople in Wisconsin are weird,” I said.
    I had no idea that poop could be so interesting. We got to match poop samples with the animals that pooped them. Then we got to touch an eighty-million-year-old piece of dinosaur poop. Ms. Krup showed us some poop under a microscope too. And we got to push buttons on a map to learn the word for “poop” in different countries.
    â€œPoop is a palindrome,” Ms. Krup said. “Does anybody know what a palindrome is?”
    Andrea was waving her dumb hand in the air like she had to go to the bathroom really badly, which would have made perfect sense in “The Amazing World of Poop"! But Ms. Krup called on me instead. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on Andrea.
    â€œA palindrome is when you make friends with bees,” I said. “My pal is a drone.”
    â€œNot exactly,” Ms. Krup said. “Andrea?”
    â€œA palindrome is a word that’s spelled the same way forward and backward,” she said.
    â€œThat’s right!”
    Why can’t three hundred pounds of elephant poop fall on Andrea’s head forwardand backward?
    â€œYou sure know a lot about poop, Ms. Krup,” said Emily.
    â€œPoop is my life,” Ms. Krup replied.
    People who like poop that much are weird. But “The Amazing World of Poop” was really cool. We learned more than anybody would ever want to know about poop. And Ms. Krup said the word “poop” so many times, it didn’t even sound funny anymore.
    It was really late. Ms. Krup took us back to the Giganotosaurus , and we climbed into our sleeping bags.
    Finally, I fell asleep. I dreamed about a giant poop that was riding a bicycle. Andit was making some weird sound. A buzzing sound. No, it was a swishing sound.
    No, no, I got it. It was a hissing sound.

13
Stuff Like This Happens Every Day
    What was that weird hissing sound?
    â€œHey!” I whispered to Ryan, who was in the sleeping bag next to mine. “Stop that hissing!”
    â€œI’m not hissing,” he replied.
    â€œYou are, too.”
    We went back and forth like that for awhile, until suddenly there was an ear-piercing shriek.
    â€œEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!”
    â€œThere’s something in my sleeping bag!” screamed Emily.
    Instantly, everybody was awake and jumping out of their sleeping bags. Emily started running around, freaking out.
    â€œWhat is it?” Andrea asked.
    â€œMaybe it’s a blue-tongued skink!” I yelled.
    â€œIt’s a bug!” Emily shrieked.
    â€œIt must be that rare hissing cockroach from Madagascar!” screamed Andrea.
    â€œIt’s General Muffin!” Michael yelled.
    â€œRun for your lives!” shouted Neil thenude kid.
    Ryan’s mom and Mr. Macky and the rest of the grown-ups tried to calm everybody down, but it was no use. Nobody wanted the cockroach to touch them. Wewere all screaming and jumping around. Finally, Ms. Krup came running over.

    â€œWhat’s the matter?” she yelled.
    â€œThat disgusting cockroach was in Emily’s sleeping bag!” Andrea shouted. “Now we can’t find it! I thought you said you captured it.”
    â€œI just said General Muffin was in a safe place,” Ms. Krup explained. “I didn’t want you kids to be scared.”
    â€œWell, we’re scared now !” Andrea shouted.
    â€œPoor General Muffin,” said Ms. Krup.
    â€œWho cares about General Muffin?” Andrea yelled. “It’s a cockroach!”
    Man, that was a first. Andrea actuallyyelled at a grown-up!
    â€œThere it is!” Michael suddenly shouted. “There’s the cockroach!”
    â€œWhere?”
    â€œThere!”
    â€œEmily!” Andrea shouted. “It’s crawling on your back!”
    â€œEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!”
    â€œLet’s kill it!” all the boys yelled,