limbs makes me think heâs going to put his fist out through the glass. For what reason, itâs beyond me to say.
âIs everything all right with you, Frederick?â
Slow, he turns round. He doesnât look at me and heeds only the wringing of his hands. âI am sorry, Lizzieââhe shakes his head in a sorrowful wayââI am sorry that you judge the house only awful grand. You were expecting something more. But this will have to do for now.â
Alarmed, I open to object. I rise to a stand and reach out an arm, but he raises to halt me.
âIt is already a risk to take a house this size. A bigger one would be a push too far. Besides, I have already given my word on it. It has been signed to us for three and a half years.â
âFrederick, Iââ
âJenny and Karl are waiting for our impressions. They, and especially Jenny, have put a great deal of time and effort into finding us this house and making it fit to occupy. So what you are going to do, Lizzie, what Iâm telling you to do, is to pretend that you think it more, much more, than awful grand.â
A rising laugh makes me push my face into my sleeve. As foreigners go, heâs unusual fast at picking things up. His problemâthe big nokeâis letting go when a thing is long done and over. Thereâs times heâll get his whole fist round a delicate article and wonât drop it till heâs wrung all the sense out of it, and he holds it still, even if he knows itâs crushed or broke, or anyhows beyond repair.
âLizzie, are you laughing?â
Laughter thatâs sealed only builds and I think I might burst. I plonk back down on the bed and lift my shirts up to hide my face.
âYa, you are laughing! What is so funny? Stop it! I said, stop it!â
âOh, Frederick,â I says, and it all spills out of me, a peal. âCome here and let me kiss you.â
He lumbers over, confounded, and sits beside me.
âFrederick,â I says, âthe house is much more than grand. Itâs an effinâ castle!â
He frowns and studies my face for any hidden rigs.
âIâm serious! I just adore it!â
He grins and lets out a sigh and takes tight of me and kisses me. And for a moment now, it almost doesnât matter that itâs her he really wants to be holding, that itâs her heâd prefer as his princess, for she isnât here and wonât be coming back, and Iâm the closest thing to her he can ever hope to get.
âYou know something?â he says then, tears in his eyes but laughing too. âThe Queen was right.â
âThe Queen? About what?â
âAbout the Irish.â
âAnd what, pray tell, did the old hooer say about us?â
âThat youâre an abominable people, none in the world better at causing distress.â
IV. Cross to Bear
Imprisoned, they have us, in their hospitality. Already here two days longer than planned. Itâs my own fault for not being firmer with Frederick. I ought kick up more of a row.
At first I was worried about getting in the way. I didnât want to walk in on top of anyone or trespass on their time. But, as it happens, I keep finding myself alone and lost and off the beaten course, in rooms that go into rooms, up and down and every which direction. My heart goes out to Jenny, having to govern such a monster, and Iâve come to admire her practice of going away to rest in case she might be tired later in the day, for Iâve learnt that a mere glance into the parlor is liable to dizzy you, for the depth. It certain canât be work that drains her. Since our arrival I havenât caught her doing anything but make work with her queer times. She has a joke: âBetter a dry crust and manners at eight than fowl and vulgarity at five,â but in actual fact, she wouldnât be content with crusts at any hour, and the maid is left bearing the brunt. Boiling up