Monsieur Pamplemousse Afloat Read Online Free Page A

envelope and glanced idly through the contents. As he did so a frown came over his face.
    The lift came and went.
    Returning to the Director’s office, Monsieur Pamplemousse found Véronique’s room was once again empty and through an open door beyond her desk he saw she was busy clearing up the remains of Pommes Frites’ water.
    ‘ Monsieur …’
    ‘Yes, Pamplemousse …’ The Director reached hastily for a pile of papers. ‘I fear I have important work to do …’
    ‘ Monsieur , I have just been glancing at the brochure Véronique gave me, and all the way through it seems at first glance to place great emphasis on food and drink.’
    ‘Everything in Burgundy has to do with food and drink, Pamplemousse,’ said the Director impatiently. ‘You should know that by now. Burgundians are pathologically incapable of writing the simplest sentence without introducing the topic. In schools all over the rest of France they teach children who are learning to read simple phrases such as “The man who opened the window is my uncle”. In Burgundy it becomes “The man who is looking in the window of the butcher’s shop is my uncle. He is a wine merchant specialising in Clos de Vougeot”.’
    ‘That being the case, Monsieur , would it not be sensible to avoid temptation altogether by following some other route? Par exemple , I believe there is a canal joining Paris to Strasbourg. For much ofthe way it goes through areas which are largely industrial …’
    The Director exchanged a glance with Véronique, as though he could hardly believe his ears.
    ‘The route you suggest,’ continued Monsieur Pamplemousse, holding up the brochure to emphasise his words, ‘seems to lay temptation upon temptation. If the illustrations are anything to go by, those taking it do little else but eat, drink and visit vineyards. The word “ gourmet ” appears no less than seven times in the first paragraph. On board, there is a guest chef from a two Stock Pot restaurant. In the evenings there are eight-course dîners accompanied by the finest wines. I really feel I cannot cope with it in the circumstances. One would be better off on a cycling holiday.’
    ‘You can hardly expect Pommes Frites to ride a bicyclette , Pamplemousse,’ said the Director severely. ‘Present-day saddles are not designed to give a chien support where its need is greatest. No, he can run alongside the boat while you eat.’
    ‘Run alongside the boat while I eat?’ repeated Monsieur Pamplemousse slowly. ‘He will not take kindly to that arrangement, Monsieur .’
    ‘He will have to get used to it,’ said the Director patiently. ‘I am told there are a great many locks en route , so there will be time for him to rest while you are finishing your meal. There is no need for both of you to suffer.
    ‘You are a good fellow, Aristide, and I can understand your concern. But you must be firm. It is the only way if Pommes Frites is to lose the necessary amount of weight in the time available.’
    Monsieur Pamplemousse stared at him, wondering for the moment if he had heard aright. ‘Would you mind repeating that, Monsieur ?’
    ‘I said, Aristide, that just because Pommes Frites has to lose weight, there is no reason in the world why you should suffer too. You must explain matters to him. Quietly and at length. I’m sure he will understand.
    ‘To represent Le Guide is a heavy burden on his shoulders. Shoulders, Pamplemousse, that before the week is out must look as though the carrying of responsibility, rather than trying to support an excessive quantity of kilogrammes, is their prime function in life.’
    Monsieur Pamplemousse glanced down while the Director was talking and as he did so he caught Pommes Frites’ eye. There were times when he wished his friend and mentor were blessed with the power of language, and there were times when he was relieved he wasn’t. It was definitely one of the latter occasions.
    Not that Pommes Frites did badly with the limited